In a recent article on self.com, 15 couples in long-term relationships shared how they keep it hot between the sheets and maintain passion and happiness as a couple.Among the guidance they dispensed was the importance of continuing to share their sexual fantasies with each other, making time for just each other, and getting real with each other about what they actually need.Read on to find out more …
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Couples who have hot sex are the happiest. The consensus is in and it seems that couples who have passionate sex lives are among the happiest. But with studies showing that as many as 1 in 6 US marriages is sexless, what does it take to keep the passion alive.
What does it take to keep it roasting beneath the sheets? In a recent self.com article, 15 couples in long-term relationships, shared the keys to keeping it toasty beneath the sheets. Many emphasized the importance of couple time and of communication that allows for the sharing of sexual fantasizes and honesty about each partner’s real needs.
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Loved-up couples share their sexual fantasies. According to one couple, who at the time of speaking to Self, had been together for 5 years, sharing their sexual fantasies with each is a “certain turn-on.” George and Jaime explained that for them it isn’t about needing to make their fantasies happen but about the chance to imagine how it could play out. “It makes us feel closer to share something so personal,” they say.
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Happy couples know the power of the weekend getaway. Katy and Sam, who had been together for 4 years, say that they use weekend getaways to keep the flame ignited between them. Sometimes they manage “a whole weekend getaway,” they explain, but find that even “staying in a hotel close to home is fun.”
Surprises from the sex shop can spice things up. During their weekend getaways, the couple has made a ritual in which one of them goes to a sex shop and chooses something that will surprise the other. Past purchases included “silly” novelties like “foreplay dice games” and “a new toy” they were both “seriously interested in trying.”
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Passionate couples communicate their needs. Getting real about your needs and then being honest with your partner is one surefire way to keep the fire alive, said Ben and Max. The couple who had been together for 4 years, said that they never share their needs “in a hurtful way” or in a way that would make “each other insecure.”
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It’s about communicating in a way that leads to “fun new things.” The trick, say the couple, is to maintain an open dialogue about what each of you wants from your sex life. They ensure that their communication leads them “to try all kinds of fun new things.”
Some couples add some fun by opening up their relationship. One couple found that by opening up their 5-year-relationship, they were able to stoke the flames of their sexual passion. Liz and Ryan said that they keep “really clear boundaries” and while they don’t think they will be “open forever,” they have certainly had a good time so far.
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Make the strength of your relationship your priority. Liz and Ryan told self.com that “the strength of [their] relationship” is always their priority. They explained that this is “why it works.” “If it ever stops being fun,” they say, “we’ll stop.”
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Make-outs keep the flame stoked. Chanel and Emily said that they keep things out by making out, outside of the bedroom. “We kiss a lot!” they explained, and hold hands and hug each other generously.
Couple who touch outside the bedroom stay connected and turned on. Chanel and Emily said that they “kiss each other hello and goodbye every day,” and warm up every sexual encounter with lots of kissing and touching. “It makes us feel a lot closer and more turned on,” they said.
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“Never start taking each other for granted.” After 10 years, Liz and Rob, said that they have found that surprising each other with “little presents or favorite foods,” keeps their love primed. “We basically act like we’re still in the beginning of our relationship,” they said, “in that way so we don’t take each other for granted.”
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Even if quantity of sex goes down, the quality should go up. According to GQ magazine, there are a number of things that happy couples know about sex. Long-term happy couples know, for instance, that while the quantity of the sex they have might go down, the quality should improve, they say.
“Keep learning what drives your partner crazy.” When it comes to quantity and quality, says GQ, the trick is to focus on continuing to do “the things that drive your partner crazy.” Not just what you already know but “learning new ones,” as well.
Turn the mundane into fuel for hot sex. In a long-term relationship, “you’ll have a lot of normal days together,” says GQ. If you learn how to make the “mundane things … really hot” you will never be short on fuel for hot sex or happiness.
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