Most People Keep An Average Of 13 Secrets At Once, Says New Study, 5 Of Which They Won’t Share With Anyone

A new study into how thousands of people keep secrets has revealed that the average person has at least 13 secrets at any one point in time, 5 of which they have never shared with anyone!  According to the research published in the Journal of Personality and Social Psychology, the most common secrets involved those about cheating, sexual behavior, and romantic desire.  Researchers discovered that people were more likely to share ‘secrets’ about having an abortion, their sexual orientation, and marriage proposals.  Read on to find out more about the 38 categories of secrets that thousands of people have in common…

Most people keep... According to a recent study called ‘The Experience of Secrecy,’ published in the Journal of Personality and Psychology, the average person keeps at least 13 secrets at a time, 5 of which they never share with anyone. Exploring the secrets of 2000 participants and looking at 10 previous studies, researchers came up with 38 common categories of secrets and were able to identify which were the most prevalent.

Most people keep... The categories of secrets identified by researchers include drug use, beliefs or ideology, social discontent, mental health, finances, and not having any sex. People are more likely to keep secret the fact that they are sleeping with someone’s spouse or have cheated on a test, whereas, they are more likely to disclose that they have had an abortion or don’t identify as heterosexual.

Most people keep... The burden of keeping something secret is felt more when alone, report the research team led by Michael Slepian, a professor from the Columbia Business School. Although it would seem more intuitive to think that active concealment would prove more difficult, people are actually more concerned about the secrets they are keeping when they aren’t with others.

Most people keep... While there are fewer times when we encounter situations in which secrets must be carefully hidden, says Slepian, thinking about secrets can be intrusive and dominate thinking at any time. This might account for why secrets have a bigger impact on their keepers when they are by themselves.

Most people keep... The study looked at both the kinds of secrets people keep and how these affect their health and behavior. When people are actively thinking about their secrets, say the researchers, they experience it like they are carrying a physical burden.

Most people keep... Previous research uncovered that keeping secrets is hard work and can be detrimental to your quality of life. Not only does it raise levels of anxiety, says the research, but it also weakens the immune system and alters your perception of life.

Most people keep... Keeping secrets requires a lot of multitasking, say studies on concealment, and the feeling of being “weighed down” extends to your perception of the physical world. Hills can occur as steeper than they are, say researchers, distances can seem further and some physical tasks can require greater physical effort!

Most people keep... As a result of their research, the authors of ‘The Experience of Secrecy,’ say that secrecy itself needs to be redefined. Describing it as simply the act of withholding something during an interaction is too narrow, they argue, and they offer 3 aspects they say are a major part of secrecy, that haven’t even be acknowledged in previous literature on the subject!

Most people keep... When someone makes the decision to hide something matters, say the researchers. When the intention was formed to conceal something is part of the timeline of a secret they say, proving that keeping a secret doesn’t just occur in just one moment.

Most people keep... People also think more about the secrets they are keeping than they are actually required to actively conceal it from other people. Thoughts about things you don’t want to share happen whether you are in a place and with people you need to hide them from.

Most people keep... Frequently thinking about what we aren’t telling others has a greater impact on your wellbeing than the actual act of keeping it secret. Your ‘wandering mind’ shows that you are feeling terrible about your secrets.

Most people keep... Keeping secrets can become second nature to people, says Slepian, and the data shows that concealment in itself doesn’t link to poor health. Thinking about secrets, however, begins to erode feelings of well-being and eventually lead to lower self-regard and feelings of inauthenticity.

Most people keep... The researchers also found that secrets can also have a big impact on romantic relationships. While there are some things that are ok to conceal from your partner - you stalk your ex you stalk their ex, you don’t like one of their friends or family members - other things can lead to the breakdown of your relationship, they say.

Most people keep... On KeepingSecrets.org, Michael Slepian provides people with advice on how to cope with secrets as suggested from the research. He points out that there are some benefits to keeping secrets like protecting your reputation and relationships. However, he says it can also be “isolating” and hurt your well-being.

Most people keep... Telling someone can be very helpful, he writes, but the right person is important. If there is no one that who you consider trustworthy enough, he says, writing in a journal or sharing anonymously online has been found to have its benefits.