There are subtle and not-so-subtle signs to look for to make sure you don't become trapped in a sexually abusive relationship. If a relationship feels toxic or abusive, more often than not, it probably is. Here are the signs to watch for.What do you think of this story? Let us know in the comments below.
What to Look For. If something feels off about your relationship, it probably is. But if you're looking for some confirmation that your partner may not be the person you thought he was, here are some signs that often accompany a sexually abusive relationship.
Jealousy. Abusive personalities tend to have problems with out-of-control jealousy. Sometimes they even use their baseless cheating accusations to excuse their own aggressive behavior.
Uses Derogatory Slurs During Sex. Partners can be verbally abusive, especially during sex. If he calls you names like slut, b*tch, or whore, it may be a sign of sexual abuse (unless the hardcore dirty talk was previously agreed upon).
Birth Control. He doesn't take responsibility for birth control, and he thinks protection is primarily your job. He may refuse to wear a condom, putting his pleasure over your safety and concerns. Birth control measures will fall on your lap.
Photos or Recordings. The media may be taken with consent, but if he used manipulating coercion tactics to get you to agree, that is a BIG sign of abuse. Coercion is a manipulative behavior as well.
Withholding Sex. He withholds sex as a form of punishment when he's angry with you. He may say sex is off the table until you agree to something you have already denied him.
Controlling and Demanding. When it comes to sex, he wants it when it is convenient for him, never taking into account your feelings or if you're also in the mood. This means that he often doesn't care if you aren't aroused and sometimes sex is painful because of it.
Uses Your Body. He treats your body like it's a tool for his own sexual pleasure. Sex rarely, if ever, feels romantic. He feels ownership over your body and makes suggestions about what you should change, making you sometimes feel ashamed of your own body.
His Needs. You exist to serve his needs. His consideration of your pleasure and enjoyment is virtually nonexistent. He expects you to be at his beck and call.
Neglectful After Sex. There's no cuddling after sex or emotional moments. In fact, once he is satisfied he can become cold and neglectful.
Negging. He puts you down as a way to make you feel weak and dependent on him. He feels his disapproval of you boosts his own attractiveness.
Physical Only. He cares more about the physical aspects of the relationship than the emotional. He puts no effort into the actual relationship.
Angry. He becomes angry or dejected when he isn't given what he wants. You constantly have to figure out what you've done wrong. Their anger can result in passive aggressive behavior and emotional coercion (guilt trips, blame game, etc), Psych Today reports.
Charming. He can be charming and romantic, but usually with ulterior motives. He will use flattery and persuasion to get what he wants for you.
Unfaithful. Lastly, he is unfaithful, and purposefully so. He will flirt with other women in front of you and maliciously try to make you jealous, try to make you think you could lose him. He does this to get what he wants from you.
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