If you’ve ever experienced sexual tension, you know that it’s often a breathtaking feeling. It’s one of those rare moments where it’s unspoken, pure desire. It can be all-consuming. It can almost be panic-inducing. It goes beyond the “butterflies in the stomach” and makes your insides feel like they’re experiencing an earthquake. And, it’s been somewhat of a mystery until now. This expert is now explaining why sexual tension builds between two people, and why you might not always like it.Have you ever dealt with someone who just had amazing sexual tension with you? Tell us your experience in the comments below.
Dr. Nicole Prause is a sexual psychophysiologist and neuroscientist who studies what happens when you have sexual tension. She even has a more scientific description of was sexual tension really is. According to her, sexual tension is “our pleasurable interpretation of the general body arousal and preparation to engage.”
In other words, its our body’s way of feeling the risk that can come with getting it on. It’s a way to motivate ourselves to have sex. Our bodies are literally reacting with anticipation, and are trying to prepare us for the act of having sex. That’s why hookups with sexual tension tend to be so good.
But, what’s this stuff about “risk?” Well, sex itself is risky. And, how we handle this risk will determine what kind of sexual tension you have with that person. Even if it’s sexual tension with a partner you have before, you’ll have subconscious thoughts of “how can I have sex with them right now?”
There’s good sexual tension and bad sexual tension. Good sexual tension will be that exciting, uplifting feeling you get. For example, if you’re having sex with a new partner, you might be thinking that the sex will probably be amazing, and that you can’t wait to sleep with them.
Good sexual tension often comes as a feeling of intense desire. It’s that “butterflies in your stomach” feeling that you often read about in books. This is your body’s way of telling you that you want to have sex with someone. And, if you notice they’re feeling that tension too, it can also help actually make things happen.
In many cases, having good sexual tension can keep couples together. Some experts might even go as far as to say that this is that “spark” everyone talks about. That’s how people get that excited feeling when they’re about to have a night with their partner after so many years.
But, there’s also such a thing as negative sexual tension. If you’ve ever had sex only to feel angry, sad, anxious, or otherwise uneasy, you’ve experienced negative sexual tension. This is a particularly common phenomenon with people who have been sexually assaulted or raped in the past.
You can also experience sexual tension in the form of dread. You know how that one creepy guy who keeps trying to be very sexual with you even when you don’t want him to be? You know that feeling of sickening dread that you get? That’s also a form of sexual tension, too. It’s a form that is signaling that there’s danger.
But, you may have also experienced negative sexual tension in the form of “nervous sexual tension.” This is more commonly known as “performance anxiety.” You might feel this kind of tension when you are worried about your partner liking you, your ability to keep your equipment working, or the way you’re pleasing your partner.
Though nervous sexual tension can be really bad, a little can be nice. It’s that nice, pleasant surprise when you realize that your partner is still into you that makes your heart go aflutter. In this way, negative sexual tension can sometimes have a happy ending for both partners involved.
And sometimes, it’s not always certain what sparks that cause for tension in the first place. Yes, there’s either attraction or revulsion. And, sometimes, is a mix of the two. We don’t know what sparks that attraction, nor is it always 100% certain what scenarios make us feel tension. But, tension does happen.
The important thing to understand is that sexual tension is, to a point, a physical reaction to suspense. Just like you would get a bit tense before stealing a candy bar from a vendor, you will get tense if you’re about to have a very sexy fling. We tense up because it’s a thrill - or it’s a sign that we’re going to get hurt.
Feeling sexual tension? Dr. Prause wants you to know that it’s your body’s most basic reaction - and that you might want to listen to the kind of vibes you’re getting. If it’s positive, it’s an awesome green light and you should enjoy yourself with this hot, sexy new partner.
But what about negative vibes? If you aren’t 100% sure that the tension you’re feeling is positive, you might want to take a step back and revaluate what is making you feel that way? Are you insecure? Are you worried that they’re going to hurt you? Think before you go through with it.
Have you ever dealt with sexual tension before? What was your tension saying? Tell us your most unusual sexual tension experience in the comments below.
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