The study was specifically tailored to women. A study that was recently published in a journal called Sexualities examined the sex lives of women who had once been addicted to drugs and became sober. At the time of the interviews, all of the participants were sober. There were 16 heterosexual women, all of whom ranged in age from 26 to 55. The drugs these women specifically had been using in the past few years were either heroin or amphetamines. They had been using for anywhere between three and 35 years.
Rules and expectations. When interviewed, many of the women answered that they didn't quite know the rules and expectations of "normal" sex as compared to the sex they were used to having in their drug lifestyle. Not only was it a different physical experience, but it was a different social experience.
Pre-sex and post-sex. The women said that it wasn't only the act of sex that posed a problem for them, either. Pre-sex and post-sex rituals were very different in sober life as compared to in a life of drugs. If you're a druggie, you're used to shooting up or doing your drug of choice before and after sex. When you become sober, you're not quite sure what to do.
Increased sexual pleasure when on drugs. As expected, the women reported that they experienced increased sexual pleasure while on drugs, most notably amphetamines. However, before you go thinking that it's time to try sex on amphetamines, we've got some news for you. It's not all rainbows and sunshine.
Higher self-esteem on drugs. The participants of the study also noted that they experienced higher self-esteem while having sex on drugs. They felt more liberated and like they also had a greater sense of agency over their bodies. You don't have to be a hardcore addict to know what that feels like. Anyone who has had sex while drunk before knows that substances lower your inhibitions and make you feel better about yourself.
Exciting on drugs. And of course, the participants reported that sex was initially much more fun and exciting while on drugs. The adventure, however, only lasts for so long. The incredible feeling of sex on drugs eventually plateaus and can't be matched. That's when you start getting into a sexual problem.
But like all highs, sex on drugs soon lost its luster. Everyone knows that once you get high, it takes more and more each time to surpass or even match that initial feeling. The same goes for sex on drugs. Eventually, these women said that they became kind of numb to the amazing sex and it became very mechanical and lifeless.
Shame. Once they recovered and sobered up, the women said they began to experience feelings of shame of their past drug-involvement. They felt as though it at least partially ruined their sexuality and their ability to perceive sexual pleasure. The hardest part about recovery can be dealing with those feelings of shame.
Feeling damaged. Some women confessed that after becoming sober, they felt damaged when it came to sex. Having sex on drugs was fun at the time, but now they're afraid of what the difference in experience will be like now that they've returned to "normal" life. They're afraid that they won't be able to enjoy it.
Some suffered abuse. Unsurprisingly, some women reported that they suffered rape or other kinds of sexual abuse when they were under the influence. It's hard to say no when you've got a system full of amphetamines or heroin. Not only do the drugs make it difficult to regain a normal sex life when they become sober, but the memories of assault and forced sex do, too.
Their past made them fearful for their future. Whenever a person emerges from a traumatic event such as sexual abuse or drug problems, it can create anxiety for the future. Even when sober, a person can be afraid of running into similar negative situations that they encountered when they did while they were having sex during their drug phase.
Unsure of how to navigate a drug-free sex life. When people are addicted to drugs, that becomes virtually all they know. Not only do the substances take control, but the drug culture does as well. It can be difficult for a person in recovery to learn to navigate the rules of everyday social situations and sexual encounters when they've been out of touch with it for so long.
How to incorporate sexual recovery into addiction recovery. This is still a topic that remains relatively unexplored. We know that drug addiction affects sexual behavior, but psychologists are as yet unsure about how to effectively heal those wounds. It will definitely be paid further attention in future research efforts.
Leave morals out of it. The lead author of the study, Anette Skårner, is a professor of social work at the University of Gothenburg, in Sweden. According to her, the best way to approach the topic of sex when it comes to recovering from drug addition is to leave morals out of it. These women are already dealing with notions of shame. Imposing your morals on them won't help.
Distorted view of men and relationships. Many women said that their experience with sexual activity while on drugs left them with a distorted view of men and relationships, so much so that some swore off men and sex for a very long time. Recovery is a process that takes a long time and a lot of effort and adjustment. Adjusting to your new sexual life post-drugs is part of that. Even if you feel damaged, fearful, or like your perspective has been messed up because of what you've experienced, you can reach a state where you can be comfortable with sex again.
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