Pretending doesn’t help anybody.
Having sex and being intimate with your partner should be an enjoyable experience. It is an even better experience when you understand your partner’s love language, in and out of the bedroom.
What turns them on? What makes them uncomfortable or less self-confident in the bedroom? What is your partner's favorite sex position? Knowing these things all contribute to how well things will go in the bedroom and it's important to be honest with your partner.
I know plenty of women whose partners don’t know their love languages, and therefore, don’t realize dissatisfied they are after having sex. Why is this?
Not knowing each other's love languages means you either don't know what you both like and dislike, or one or both of you is pretending you're having a good time — eventually causing both of you to be bored with sex.
Not knowing what you like is understandable, but that is what your partner is there for — to help you figure it out. But if you aren't honest with your partner (or they're not honest with you), how can you expect things improve?
If you continue to pretend that you are having the time of your life, the problem will never get solved. He won't know to change his technique or to try new positions in order fo your experience to be as pleasing as possible.
Tell your partner what works best for you so you can figure out how to make everyone involved feel on top of the world. Both of you will be benefit from this. He can properly learn how to please you, which will boost his ego, and you will actually be satisfied and have better sex. However, if you don’t say anything and pretend everything is okay, both parties will suffer.
Most importantly, you will suffer. You will start to be turned off by the idea of being intimate. You will just view it as another moment that you have to sit through — like a mandatory job training that you really don’t want to go to. Every time you finish you will feel disappointed, and over time, you will start to resent your partner for it.
You shouldn’t have to feel this way or fake anything in the bedroom. It is okay to be honest about how you feel when it comes to your sex life.
So here are 3 really important reasons why you should stop faking your orgasms — and why being up front and honest with your partner is the key to having great sex.
1. You will never learn what you really like.
If you never say anything about what you like and dislike in the bedroom, then your partner will continue to do all the wrong things — because he (or she) doesn't know any better. Also, your partner will be less inclined to try new things to turn you on — because they think they already know it!
Yes, you can find out what you like without your partner, but if you never instruct them, then it really won’t matter.
2. You will stop enjoying your intimate moments together.
When you're not enjoying yourself in the bedroom, it becomes easy to view having sex as something you're obligated to do in a relationship, but don’t really want to do. You will find yourself just lying there, thinking about all the other things you could be doing, or wishing you hadn't started it at all.
Instead of wanting the experience to last for as long as possible, you will simply want to get it over with. Your partner will notice that you seem less eager to partake, which will only make you both unhappy. The worst part? They won't know why.
3. You will always be disappointed.
As each time goes by with the same results (you faking an orgasm or pretending like you're enjoying this as much as your partner), you will become even more disappointed — and so will your partner. Sadly, that disappointment could spread into the rest of your relationship too — you might start to look at them differently and question why they can’t seem to please you in more places than just bed. It becomes exhausting and will discourage you from wanting to be intimate in any parts of your life.
If you aren't enjoying yourself for whatever reason, let your partner know. Don't pretend you are satisfied in the bedroom when you're not — you will suffer the most, but your partner will also suffer, as you will start to distance yourself from sex, and from them.
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