In the never-ending quest for satisfaction, long-term couples tend to drift between wanting safety and wanting sensuality—and more commonly toward the former. Frankly, we’ve all been there: Passion that may have once been across-the-room palpable has since cooled to a barely-lit simmer. For those who require a healthy and happy sex life for a healthy and happy relationship (so, everyone), dwindling intimacy can spell boredom, frustration, and even extramarital affairs.
Thankfully, reigniting the flame doesn’t require superhuman efforts. All you have to do is be brave, open your mind, and step outside your comfort zone—if only a little bit. Try these playful exercises to unleash your hidden desires, stimulates your secret senses, and free your relationship from any preconceived and predetermined limitations.
1
Write a Love Letter
Sexting isn’t exactly romantic—but a love letter most certainly is. Writing allows you to spend time fully formulating your thoughts before you speak. For a truly heartwarming letter, spend some time on it. Express sincere gratitude for their presence in your life. Find inspiration from photos and memories of when you first met. Be genuine in your wording—and even humorous, if you are so inclined (and can pull if off). And if you’re the kind who suffers from debilitating writer’s block, consider writing down the lyrics of a song that best expresses your true feelings toward the one you love. When read together in bed—either pre or post entanglement—this will awaken emotions, release endorphins, and strengthen the bond between two lovers.
2
Watch and Learn (No, Not Porn)
Couples that play together stay together. Pornography is indeed helpful for visual stimulation and creative ideas, but remember: these are paid actors who “orgasm” on command. Whether you struggle in the lovemaking department or are simply interested in expanding their knowledge of the female orgasm, consider a visit to OMGYES. Here, you’ll find videos—all backed by the latest science—regarding women’s sexuality and exploring new ways to enhance pleasure. There’s a one-time paywall of $39, but every penny is kicked right into funding sexual wellness research, so you can sleep easy from both satisfaction and the cozy comfort of knowing you made the world a better place.
3
Meditate
Meditation can work wonders on your focus during the day. But it can do the same to your night, too. As a powerful stress-relieving tool, it will help you boost both energy and sensory awareness, allowing you to be more present for your partner in the bedroom. Connecting with yourself through meditation can prepare your mind for a deeper, more meaningful sexual connection, helping you acknowledge your partner as an extension of yourself. A common form of meditation you may have heard of, courtesy of a certain aged rock star? Tantra. (Yes we’re talking about Sting.) Couples interested in this sacred sexual practice may benefit from an experienced Tantra teacher to expand the ability to connect with their partner. Or, for a simpler method, for those who would prefer baby steps into the mind-body-spirit connection, consider walking together as a daily form of meditation and movement.
4
A Healthy Sex Life Requires Healthy People
Regular exercise boosts circulation, increases energy levels, and releases endorphins, making you feel as good as you look. Exercise also reduces cortisol and increases the body’s testosterone levels in both men and women, which comes with the added bonus of an amplified sex drive. What’s more, feeling stronger and leaner improves confidence in our appearance—and ultimately in between the sheets. For best results, exercise at least three days a week and consume a diet high in protein and green, leafy vegetables; that’ll give your body the nutrients it craves.
5
Couples Sexual Enhancement
The latest innovation in sexual wellness involves harnessing the healing properties of blood to regenerate the female and male orgasm systems. Pioneered by Dr. Charles Runels, a leader in the field of sexual wellbeing, this non-surgical injection uses Platelet Rich Plasma (PRP) harvested from the patient’s own blood. Once the blood has been drawn, a specialized centrifuge is used to concentrate the PRP, which is then injected into tissues, releasing growth factors that recruit and increase proliferation of reparative cells. In other words, this increases blood flow.
If this sounds frightening, you needn’t worry: PRP is extremely safe and comes with very limited side effects; since the patient is using their own blood;the body won’t reject the treatment. The injection itself is essentially painless and takes approximately 5 minutes. The O-Shot for women is used for treatment of decreased libido, decreased orgasm frequency and intensity, and lichen planus among other issues. Conversely, for natural male enhancement and increased sexual performance and stamina, the Priapus Shot is an excellent solution. It results in longer, stronger, more sustainable erections. And for more ways to boost performance, learn the 15 Easy Ways to Make Sex Last Much Longer.
6
Take a Naked Vacation
A “nakation” can be a bit challenging and scary at first. Try it in your home, a hotel, visit a nude beach, or take the plunge and stay at a clothing optional resort, where you can be as free as the fish in the sea. Nudists come from all over the world, in all shapes and sizes, and are known for being famously welcoming. Stripping down to your birthday suit shows confidence and acceptance of your unique and beautiful body that your partner will surely appreciate. Spending the day naked creates an unrestricted and sensually charged environment, so you and your lover get to party like it’s your birthday…
7
Slap and Tickle
Touch can come in many forms. Finding what is most pleasing to your lover is part of the journey. Massage is a great place to start. As your exploration advances you may want to try some toys or even play it rough—as long as it’s with a trusted partner. Pleasure mixed with a dash of pain—whether it’s dominant or submissive role play or bondage—can be very risqué and arousing for some. The most forbidden fruit may be something you truly enjoy. You won’t know until you try.
8
Talk Dirty to Me
Your partner may need the encouragement of words to arouse the mind and body. Confessing your darkest secrets or wildest fantasies in the heat of the moment can be exhilarating, too. Mix up your terms for an erotic twist. Instead of, say, sweetheart, consider a suggestive nickname, like pretty porn star. Some language that’s offensive to some can be downright stimulating to others. Gently push your boundaries and see what happens. Since seductive language may not come naturally, consider reading a passage from a provocative book to get things going.
9
Experience a Sex Club
Whether you choose to participate or observe from afar is your decision alone, but the adventure of infiltrating such a “taboo” establishment may be enough stimulation in and of itself. (The truth is, friendly people from many walks of life frequent these clubs.) Sex should be playful. Entering does not mean you need to engage in an orgy, necessarily. But you are given the freedom to dress up and wear a wig, be a voyeur or an exhibitionist. Remember: Participate only if you feel comfortable. The thrill of just being there and discovering a few new ideas will bring you closer as a couple. New, exciting experiences can be a powerful aphrodisiac.
10
Dirty Dancing
Dancing is an amazing outlet for creativity and self-expression, it’s fun, and, most importantly, it brings people together. The interaction and physical connection is perfect for anyone looking to add some spice to their love life. Lose your inhibitions and dance like no one is watching. Pay close attention to the lyrics; more often than not, the words are very sexual in nature. If you are uncomfortable dancing in public, then try it in privacy at home with your partner. For some serious spice, bring it to the bedroom—and leave your clothing behind.
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