Sex tips for new mums, including embracing the quickie and getting over the ‘first time’ dread

WHEN you’ve just had a baby the last thing on your mind is getting intimate between the sheets.

Your evenings are most likely dominated by nappy changes and night feeds, and spontaneous romance might feel like a distant memory.

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Parenthood can turn your sex life upside downCredit: Alamy

But while things aren't quite the same with a newborn around, it is possible to get your love life back on track when you’ve just become a parent with these five sex tips from Netmums.

1. Get over the ‘first time after giving birth’ dread

The thought of making love for the first time since giving birth can be pretty terrifying.

After you’ve been through the trauma of labour and endured weeks of  sleep deprivation, the idea of getting down and dirty might seem laughable.

Like a lot of new mums, you might be wondering if it’s safe to have sex again after having a baby.  There’s no right or wrong time threshold, but many women prefer to wait until after their six-week check.

If you’ve had a C-section you may have to wait longer while you recover from the operation – your doctor will advise you.

Ultimately, it depends on the kind of birth experience you had and the way you feel about having sex again.

But don't put your love life on the back burner. Even if you don't feel up to sex, being intimate with your partner will make your relationship stronger and will make the days of early parenthood more enjoyable.

2. Recognise that life is different now – but sex can still be fun

Having sex after giving birth requires a combination of fierce preparation and multi-tasking.

With a newborn to check on and feed at regular intervals, it's hard to find the time to be intimate. But assuming the baby is happily snoozing, it's time to embrace something else that's new: your body.

After 40 weeks of pregnancy, followed by childbirth, you're probably still getting used to your post-baby body. Yes there might be a few stretchmarks, or you might have had a tear while giving birth, but it's important you learn to love your body and respect the amazing thing it has done.

If you are breastfeeding your boobs might be sore – not to mention prone to spontaneous let-downs at the wrong moment. (Orgasms release some of the same hormones as breastfeeding. Who knew?!)

Just take it slowly, embrace your new body and before you know it you'll be back in the swing of things.

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It is important to communicate with your partnerCredit: Getty Images

3. Remember the benefits

Nothing kills passion quite like sleep deprivation.

Parenthood brings with it a whole new level of tiredness that you didn't even know existed when you were child-free, and the idea of sacrificing half an hour before bedtime when you could be indulging in a deep sleep might sound like a nightmare.

But as well as being fun, sex has a lot of health benefits. According to experts it can boost your immune system, control your blood pressure and help you cope better with stress.

Sex is also a great form of exercise – perfect for new mums who don’t have time to go to the gym.

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Sex has a multitude of health benefitsCredit: Getty Images

4. Don’t be afraid to schedule sex

Yes, we know scheduled sex doesn't sound remotely exciting, and it’s as far from spontaneous as you can get.

But scheduling a session can work wonders for your relationship - and it's something plenty of parents do! A Netmums poll recently revealed six out of 10 parents put a date in to make love.

It is possible to get time out, even with a newborn. Whether it’s asking a helpful grandparent to babysit, or working out when you’ve got a free hour by synchronising it with your baby’s nap time, there are ways to carve out time for intimacy.

P.S. This doesn’t mean you’ve said goodbye to spontaneity. There's plenty of time for that in the months and years to come. But for now, this shows that both of you are making a commitment to your sex life and regard it as important.

5. Embrace the quickie

There are times when you need to think on your feet when it comes to finding time for sex.

If your baby is getting off to sleep and she’s in your bedroom, you might want to enjoy a quickie on the sofa. In fact, it's a great time to 'christen' all the rooms in your house.

And what about sex while your baby is in the room? There's a lot of debate about this and it's entirely up to you. However it's worth pointing out that while they are very young, babies generally don’t have a clue what you are doing and will probably be fast asleep!