Maybe you landed a dream-job 3,000 miles away (congrats, boss babe!) and are now "giving long distance a try." Or maybe a worldwide pandemic hit and thrust you into an accidental long-distance relationship (plot twist!). Or heck, maybe you recently took advantage of Tinder's Passport Feature and what started as a coping mechanism for coronavirus-induced anxiety somehow landed you with a lover you have no real hope of seeing IRL anytime soon (lol, just me??).
Anyway. Whatever the reason, here you are, in a long-distance relationship, wondering: Is it just me and my vibrator from here on out? Is my relationship doomed to bed death and monotonous Facetime calls? Rest assured, horny LDR-ers, you can absolutely continue using your vibrator, but that's not the only way for you to get your fiddle twiddled or noodle wet.
"Sex and intimacy are absolutely achievable for couples who aren't physically together—but that sex and intimacy might just look different than in-person sex and intimacy do," says Rachel Wright, M.A., L.M.F.T., psychotherapist and marriage and relationship expert.
Below, Wright and other sex educators share tips for regularly enjoying sexual intimacy, whether you're three miles apart quarantining separately, 300 miles apart, or even farther. (P.S. Did You Know Long-Distance Relationships Can Actually Make You More In Love?)
Get saucy and sensual with sexting.
Spoiler alert: Getting techy is a big part of fanning the flame from afar. One of the best ways? Sex-texting. Invite your partner to have an NSFW convo with you (yes, you need consent!). If they respond with the drool-face emoji, try these sexting ideas for long-distance relationships from certified sex coach Gigi Engle, Womanizer sexpert and the author of All The F*cking Mistakes: A guide to sex, love, and life:
•Leave no detail unsaid about what you would do to them if they knock on your door right now.
•Tell them from your POV (with explicit detail) what your first time together was like for you. Or that insanely hot night on the beach. Or the time you killed a bottle of wine and tried something new. "Remembering a past shared sexual experience is a great way to get started," says Engle.
•If you're touching yourself, describe to your partner what you're doing to yourself right now. (For more sexting tips, check out this sex-texting guide).
Before you include some visual extensions of these hot and heavy words, make sure your partner is down to receive them. "Sending a photo without explicit consent is virtual assault," says Wright.
And for your future self's sake: Crop out any identifying tattoos or features. "There's always the possibility of revenge porn, so take a moment to think about how you might feel if this photo gets leaked five or ten years from now," says Haley Hasen, sex educator
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