Majority Of Women Fake Orgasms To End Sex, Says Survey

Sigh.
In this day and age where sex is being talked about more openly in the media than ever before, ladies are having orgasms all the time with their guys, right? According to Cosmopolitan's survey: not really.
The survey included 2,300 women between the ages 18-40, and had them answer questions about their own orgasm. A high 72 percent said their partner has reached an orgasm, but didn't even try to return the favor. (Um, selfish.) The survey showed that there is an even bigger imbalance with women saying that their male partners reach climax 95 percent of the time.
The results also showed that the art of faking it isn't going anywhere. A whopping 67 percent of women admitted to faking it with their partners. Then there was 27 percent of women who said they faked it to "end sex more quickly" feeling like the attempt to reach an orgasm was impossible. Then there was the 28 percent who said they faked it in order to protect their partner's ego.


Of course, a big culprit of the imbalance of orgasm between partners is that men don't really understand the important of clitoral stimulation. Sadly, they still think a woman's pleasure is all about penetration. A good 38 percent of women said they're just not getting enough clitoral stimulation to go over the edge, and 35 percent said their partners aren't giving the right kind of stimulation.
But there is some good news: 78 percent of the women said they believe their partner does care about her orgasm. It just looks like a lot more communication about what will get them there needs to happen.

Unfinished Business: 7 Reasons You're Not Getting Off

Why, oh why, is it so hard for some women to orgasm?
If you're not having an orgasm during sex, that's OK. Well, not OK in that you're going without such a fantastic pleasure, but OK in that you're definitely not alone. There are many women out there who don't orgasm as often as they should, and some who just never get there at all.

Studies have shown that only 25 percent of women orgasm during sex, 75 percent require some sort of extra stimulation, like toys, fingers or tongue to climax, and 10 to 15 percent never, ever have orgasm at all. Ever. Those are not very pretty stats, especially since 75 percent of men claim to orgasm all the time. (So unfair, isn't it?) But why, oh why, is it so hard for some women to orgasm?

While the female orgasm is still somewhat of a mystery, doctors and scientists have figured out a few reasons why women aren't climaxing, from stress to your high heels. Of course, unless you're dealing with a medical issue that's preventing you from having an orgasm, every woman's reason as to why they are not, is different. If you're having a hard time reaching an orgasm either alone or with your partner, here are seven possible reasons why.

The Longest Lasting Couples Are Great At Doing THESE Two Things

I mean, it makes sense.
It's not earth-shattering news that sex is an essential part of a long-term relationship. Sex connects you to your partner and helps you have a deeper understanding of them.
But how do you keep the sexual part of your relationship exciting and satisfying after you've been with your partner for a number of years, and how important is having good sex to the longevity of your relationship?
A study that's being published in the Journal of Sex Research found that the happiest couples not only have a lot of sex, but they talk about it, too. The researchers figured out that men and women who are sexually satisfied are also happier in their relationships.
Researchers at Chapman University, California State University, Sonoma State University, and the Kinsey Institute posted a survey in 2006 and then analyzed the answers of almost 39,000 married or heterosexual couples who lived together, all of whom had been together for at least three years. The average age was 40 for women and 46 for men.


Participants were asked to rate their current sexual satisfaction on a scale of one to seven. In addition, they were asked to rate their sexual satisfaction in the first six months of their relationship.
A huge majority of respondents remembered being satisfied in the first six months of their relationship, but only about half (43 percent of men and 55 percent of women) said they were currently satisfied. The rest reported feeling neutral (16 percent of men and 18 percent of women) or dissatisfied (41 percent of men and 27 percent of women).
"Sexual satisfaction and maintenance of passion were higher among people who had sex more frequently, received more oral sex, had more consistent orgasms, incorporated more variety of sex acts, took the time to set a mood, and practiced effective sexual communication," said David Frederick, Ph.D., lead author of the study said. "Almost half of satisfied and dissatisfied couples read sexual self-help books and magazine articles, but what set sexually satisfied couples apart was that they actually tried some of the ideas."
The study found that sexually satisfied men and women engaged in more intimate behaviors such as cuddling, gentle and deep kissing, laughing together during sex, and included more variety in their sex lives, like experimenting with different positions and acting out fantasies. Also, couples who were content with their sex lives and partners said "I love you" during sex and sent a suggestive or teasing texts earlier in the day.

"We looked at common romantic and sexual behaviors that are rarely assessed in the literature but are likely important contributors to sexual satisfaction," Dr. Frederick said. "For example, while sexual variety is deemed important for sexual satisfaction, evidence on the effectiveness of specific forms of variety — such as showering together or wearing lingerie or use of sex toys — is lacking."
Keeping things fresh and being open to trying different sexual techniques, talking about what you want, having more sex and orgasms are vital for long-term sexual satisfaction. And a sexually satisfied partner is a happy partner.

5 Sex Toys You NEED To Make Your Orgasms Incredible

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I Got A Shot In My Vagina And DAMN My Orgasms Are UNREAL

It's the Vampire Facial for vaginas.
By Emily McCombs
First off, let me just say that my vagina is A-OK as is. She looks fine, she tastes fine, she smells fine.
I’m a firm believer that God makes each beautiful clamshell perfect just the way she is. I still remember telling a male friend in my younger, more image-conscious days that I shaved my pubic hair off because it just seemed “more sanitary.” To which he responded, “It’s a vagina, not a hospital.”
And he was right — it’s not a hospital, nor is it one of those Philosophy bath sets that come out around Christmas with shower gels named “Sugar Cookie” and “Holiday Spice.” It’s OK if it just looks and smells and tastes like, you know, a vagina. I long ago stopped trying to achieve a smooth, plasticized Barbie crotch and now just keep things sort of tidy and contained down there, when I’m not too lazy.


But when you’re an online editor on the YOLO beat and you get a press release about VSPOT MediSpa that bills itself as a “vagina spa,” you sit up and take notice.
First of all, I love the phrase “vagina spa.” I can’t help but imagine a bunch of disembodied Upper East Side vaginas getting manicures while sitting under those 1950s hair dryers. Just treatin’ themselves, you know?
Also, VSPOT, founded by Cindy Barshop of “The Real Housewives of New York City” fame specializes in non-surgical procedures (no labiaplasty here) aimed at treating common issues like low sexual desire, dryness and incontinence.
Although there are some purely cosmetic services offered, I do get the vibe that the V-SPOT folks, like VSPOT MediSpa gynecologist Dr. Carolyn A. DeLucia, really do hope to empower women with their work.


“It’s not about him, it’s about us,” she says. “It’s mostly about returning to function. It’s about being comfortable in our everyday lives and intimacy is an important part of that.”
Delucia says they see all kinds of clientele at the spa, from a 21-year-old hoping to treat urinary incontinence issues that keep her running to the bathroom every half-hour to new moms hoping to regain the elasticity they lost during childbirth.
After I decided to take my vagina to the spa, I was left with the task of deciding what vagina service to avail myself of. Should I get the vagina steam, designed to “cleanse, tone and nourish the cervix, uterus, and vaginal tissues”? Nah, too Goop. Or the V-Lift, which promises to “plump and smooth out wrinkles” and, I kid you not, give me “Kylie Jenner-esque lips … on my lips”? Intriguing, but the service required a clean pap smear in the last 6 months, and my most recent was from 9 months ago.
That left me with The O-Shot, described as a “simple procedure that uses your own blood plasma, which is injected into the vagina, to enhance sexual pleasure.” OH, IS THAT ALL? You’re just going to take blood out of my arm and use a needle to inject it into my clitoris and G-spot? No biggie.

The O-shot is supposed to work by isolating plasma-rich platelets (PRP) from the blood, then injecting them back into the body, where the growth hormones within set to work rejuvenating the vagina, treating incontinence, looseness, dryness and lack of sensation. It’s the same process used in the Kardashian-approved Vampire Facial.
That’s right, somebody was like, “You know that creepy thing we’re doing to our faces to look younger? We should do that to vaginas.”
AND YET.
That O? It stands for “orgasm.” As in crazy-strong, “blow-a-hole-through-the-roof” orgasms. That last description is a quote directly from Delucia, who has had the procedure done herself and is effusive in her endorsement of it.

“After menopause, you lose sensation,” she says. “Sexual touch can feel like someone’s rubbing your forehead. This brought it back and then some.”
I’m far from menopausal, but like a lot of women, I do sometimes have trouble “getting there” with a partner. This is probably at least partly because of the antidepressants that help me shower regularly and not spend the entire day crying in bed. Sometimes, depending on how recently I’ve taken my meds, things just kind of “numb out” down there and I know there’s no hope.
Dr. Delucia’s enthusiasm and the promise of getting to tell people I have a VAMPIRE VAGINA is enough to propel me onto the doctor’s table, despite the inherent anxiety associated with getting a needle stuck into your clitoris.
Also despite this paper I had to sign stating that I understood the risk of CONSTANT VAGINAL WETNESS as a side effect:
Dr. Delucia took my blood, then applied a topical cream to my clitoris and inside my vagina, leaving me chilling for 20 minutes or so while she centrifuged my blood and my vagina went numb. It was sort of like the dentist, only with more vagina.
When she came back, she gave me several Lidocaine injections to further numb the area, assuring me I would only feel the “tiniest pinch.” I actually didn’t even feel that. I was totally numb.
When it came time to give me the O-shot, she paused with the needle hovering over my clitoris and gushed gleefully: “I love every time I do this because it’s such a gift.”


As she’d promised, the procedure actually was completely painless. I didn’t feel anything except her fingers inside my vagina when she did the G-shot injection, which just felt like a regular gynecological exam.
It was psychologically unsettling, however, realizing that I’d just gotten a needle shoved into my most tender parts. When I sat up and saw blood on the doctor’s paper, I felt a little woozy.
The doctor told me I could resume sexual intercourse immediately, but honestly I wouldn’t have wanted to that day. Plus, my vagina was still numb for several hours, giving me the odd impression that my genitals had fallen asleep.




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She outlined the immediate effects I could expect to see from the shot — she said the next day I’d likely wake up thinking, “Oh! I have a clitoris,” and that I’d be more sexually aroused over the next week or two, and start having heightened intercourse. Within 3 months, I’d feel the full effects of the shot and be having those hole-in-the-ceiling orgasms she’d told me about earlier. She even told me that I might start having G-spot orgasms for the first time.
On the way back to the train, it felt like my clitoris was vibrating. I could imagine the blood swirling around in there charging up my pussy for optimum performance.
For the first few days afterward, I wasn’t sure if I was feeling much. I thought I felt a little more aware of my clitoris (but not CONSTANTLY AWARE, whew), and it seemed like my orgasms might be a little different. In fact, the first thing my fiancé said when I had my first post-O-short orgasm was, “That seemed different.”
It definitely seemed a little different, but I hadn’t gotten off for awhile before that, so I wasn’t totally sure it was the shot. And I felt the same way about the next few orgasms — yeah, they seemed a little different, but was it really the shot, or was this just an “I want to believe” situation because I let someone put a needle in my vagina?


But then there was a distinct turn. By the third week, I started feeling much more sensation during sex. I was more quickly aroused, and it was much easier to orgasm once we got started. A few times I even got myself off with my hand during intercourse. My hand. I hadn’t gotten off without the horsepower of the Hitachi Magic wand in ages.
Having an orgasm felt like tipping the ball into the hoop from the rim gently, as opposed to shooting a 3-point shot from half-court. And the orgasms just seemed to get stronger and better, until they were lasting for what felt like minutes. (But were probably actually, like, 15 awesome seconds.)
“That seemed different,” became a regular post-orgasm commentary from my fiancé. In fact, I asked him this morning what specifically had changed about my orgasms, and he said that before I acted “kind of like a woman who’d just had a cat jump on her stomach,” and now I act like “that moment when the devil is inside you and they dump holy water on you.”
Then he volunteered that I was tighter post O-shot. “Like waaaay tighter.”


I was kind of regretting starting this conversation, but it’s true that that I basically become re-virginized every time we go a few days without banging. To me, having to force yourself back in there every time doesn’t really sound like a good thing, but apparently it is.
That said, I definitely wouldn’t have gotten the O-shot just for a guy.
As my fiancé points out, “Sex is about a lot more than just how a vagina feels. Super-vagina is nice but it doesn’t change the sex game. It’s like electric seat warmers in your car — it feels good, but if you’re not into taking your car out for a spin it’s not going to change anything.”
That said, my increased sexual satisfaction has definitely improved our sex life for both of us. (And it was already pretty bangin’.)


While the O-shot can cost around 1,200 to 1,500 dollars, it also lasts for about a year, and I can genuinely say that it improved my sexual function. I still have times when I lack the sensation to really get going, but I am still on antidepressants, and I can’t help but wonder how much stronger the effects would be if I weren’t.
Overall, I’m about twice as likely to feel stimulated during sex and achieve orgasm, and those orgasms are stronger and better every time.
I initially worried that women were having these procedures because they felt bad about their vaginas (testimonials like “Is it weird to say I have the vagina of a 25-year-old?” on the site don’t help with that perception). But my experience was that the O-shot, at least, could truly be a helpful tool for women experiencing sexual dysfunction, dryness or incontinence. Even the increased “tightness” is more about increasing sensation for the woman than pleasing her partner.
And I’m all  about medical advances that improve women’s sex lives, especially since most of the science in that area is aimed at helping men get their dicks hard.


Disclaimer: Before you decide to undergo any medical procedure, please consult your doctor. There are some risks involved and the procedure is fairly new so it hasn’t been subject to long-term study.
Also, I haven’t had any G-spot orgasms yet, but I’ve got a few weeks to go before the three-month mark. If it happens, expect to hear about it literally everywhere because I am never going to stop talking about it.

This article was originally published at Elite Daily. Reprinted with permission from the author.

4 Insanely Simple Steps To THE BEST ORGASM OF YOUR D*MN LIFE

Think you can't climax during intercourse? Think again!
Have you heard the myth that says some people can orgasm through intercourse while others can't? Well, don't believe it. Everyone can learn how to climax during lovemaking; it just takes a little practice and a lot of patience.
If you use the following four techniques correctly, you are going to be able to have an orgasm every time you get intimate!
1. Learn to relax your mind and body.
You need to understand that there is a vicious cycle that people often fall into when trying to reach orgasm during sex. They get uptight because they are not getting closer to orgasm, and this in turn makes it more difficult to actually orgasm. In fact, they are further away from having an orgasm because this causes extra tension and stress, which only makes it less likely for them to orgasm.

Learning to relax and not caring about having an orgasm may sound counter-intuitive, but it's actually vital if you do want to climax. So in order to proactively relax and let go, have sex in a place that makes you feel safe and relaxed — for example, your own bedroom.
Pamper yourself before you have sex. Take a nice, long bath or shower. Then, afterward, slip into something really comfortable. A surprisingly powerful way to relax is for your partner to say, "You are not allowed to orgasm tonight" or "I don't want you to orgasm." It works a little like reverse psychology and many people find that this takes the pressure off of them to climax.
2. Make foreplay last a long time.
Both men and women enjoy foreplay, and it ultimately leads to stronger and more powerful orgasms for both sexes. Make sure your partner knows this. So, how long should foreplay last? Ideally, it should last for at least 20 minutes, but it can last for much longer.

By spending up to two hours caressing, kissing, massaging and rubbing your body, you will both be more relaxed and aroused than if foreplay only lasted for three minutes. And being more relaxed and aroused means that reaching orgasm will be far easier.
3. Turn off the lights, and turn up the music.
Turning the lights off when you have sex has a powerful effect. If you are self-conscious about your body, you'll find that having sex in the dark takes away a lot of the pressure. In the dark, your partner can't see your body, he can't make eye contact with you, and he can't see what you are doing. This takes a lot of the anxiety out of sex for many people.
Listening to music is great for filling the room with sound that drowns out the sounds you and your partner are making. It can also turn you on and add extra eroticism to your sex session if it's an artist that puts you in the mood.

4. Explore what turns you on.
Relaxing and turning the lights off is all very good when it comes to learning how to have an orgasm, but it's a little passive. In order to be more active, find things that turn you on and bring you closer to orgasm. If you want to know how to orgasm every time you sex, you need to get to know your body intimately.
Think of it as fun homework. Spend a few nights alone in bed learning about what you enjoy, what turns you on and what brings you closer to orgasm. It could be direct clitoral stimulation, penetration with a dildo or vibrator, or even simple nipple stimulation.
No matter what it is that arouses you, it's important to find out. When you discover what enables you to orgasm easily, relay the information to your partner so he can apply what you learned when you're together.

.......

If This Is What Happens When You Orgasm, You Need To See A Doctor

How to know if you have a problem.
A good orgasm is something everything woman craves in the sack.
But be that as it may, it's also not exactly something you talk about with your doctor during your annual checkup.
Hell, for some it can even be hard to talk about their sexual pleasure WITH the person doing the pleasuring.
That's what makes PGAD so utterly terrifying.
It's the enemy of pleasure, turning your orgasm against you, and leaving you feel totally without a voice.
PGAD, persistent genital arousal disorder, for years were lumped in the same category as people with sex addictions or hyper sexuality.
It wasn't until 2001 that the condition became officially recognized. While no cause has been officially recognized, some experts believe it to be caused by damaged sensory nerves sending mixed messages to the brain and pleasure centers.


Sufferers of PGAD can have hundreds of orgasms in a single day.
I told a male friend
about this, and he just chuckled saying, "Sounds like puberty for guys."
It's easy to write off as a laughing matter. Who doesn't want to cum if given the chance, right?
But sufferers of PGAD often find themselves in real distress.
Some describe it as being akin to an allergic reaction.
Their genitals throb, itch, and ache and the only form of relief that they can find is to reach orgasm — whether they want to or not.


Having something biologically designed to bring your happiness turn into your greatest enemy is a mind fuck and a half.
Thousands of women have PGAD. Probably more, these are just the ones who talk to their doctors about it.
If this sounds like you, contact your doctor. There IS treatment, including medication, therapy, and even surgery. Take your life back!


1. Urges Come In Waves
Sufferers of PGAD often develop early and describe their need to masturbate as coming in waves or tides. They can go weeks without, but when the urge strikes them, it can stick around just as long.
2. You Can't Wear Certain Clothes
Fitted pants or jeans are off limits for you, your body simply finds them way too triggering. If you want to make it through the work day, you've got to plan carefully.
3. Your Orgasms Have Nothing To Do With Sex
The compulsion to orgasm has nothing to so with sex for you, it comes from the need to end the constant feeling of arousal you carry with you.


4. You're Never Not Turned On
We've all had our hornier moments, that's normal and healthy. A PGAD sufferer still feels aroused even right after (and even during) they orgasm.

If You Haven't Heard Of The Pulsator, Your Vagina Is MISSING OUT

It's not a vibrator! It's a pulsator!
Are you bored with the same old vibrations? If you’ve tried vibe after vibe and aren’t feeling erotically inspired, you’ll be thrilled to hear about the new toy in town.
I was so excited when I heard from my friends at Fun Factory, the producers of some of my favorite sex toys. They produce quality sex toys using 100 percent medical grade silicone and the quality of their German engineering shows in every one of their toys.
Inspired by NASA technology, Fun Factory invested eighteen months of research and development to create a whole new kind of sex toy. The result: the pulsator. The Stronic Eins, the first toy in the pulsator line, shakes things up by converting strong magnetic force fields into a thrusting motion, giving women a highly stimulating alternative to vibrators.


Users report that the orgasms induced by the Stronic feel “deeper” and “more emotional.” The thrusting motion is somehow more human than the buzz of a vibrator, and the various settings make the toy come alive with a variety of thrusting patterns.
From tiny little pulses to vigorous thrusts, the Stronic moves in ways that evoke the thrusting motion of intercourse. The higher settings start feeling a bit like vibration, but the slower, longer pulse settings take your pleasure in a whole new direction.


Most women will want to pair the Stronic with clitoral stimulation. Toy or no toy, most women do not climax from vaginal stimulation alone. You can try using one hand to hold the Stronic inside you and use your other hand to manually stimulate your clitoris. The toy is nearly silent, thanks to its magnetic technology. But that might not matter; even if the toy is quiet, we doubt you’ll be able to keep silent with the Stronic pulsating inside you.
We recommend always emphasizing human touch during masturbation and lovemaking. No toy can replace the dexterity and sensitivity of your fingers. If you really want to tap into your pleasure potential, learn how to stimulate yourself and your lover with just your hands.
Toys can, however, add a variety of sensations to your solo and partnered sex life. If you are bored with vibrators, try the Stronic and prepare to be thrust into a new dimension of pleasure.
......


Ready to experience your full erotic potential? The Pleasure Mechanics videos and ebooks are your source for proven techniques for more sexual pleasure. Learn couples massage, erotic touch techniques and strategies for a healthier, happier relationship.

I Tried The Bumper Car Sex Position And It Was Basically Necrophila

One perk of the sexy move? You can massage each other's calves.
Of all the sex positions I've tried, this little number might be the strangest. And the most impossible and confusing. Unless your man has an exceptionally long dong, the Bumper Cars sex position doesn't seem like a particular enjoyable or physically feasible position.
This is how it goes: The woman lays on her stomach with legs splayed open. The guy in question lies down on his stomach facing 180 degrees in the opposite direction with his legs splayed wide open as well. He then backs up until his penis is aligned with the lady's vagina. Now in position, he can enter, making sure not to stretch out his penis.
When J and I got to trying it we were a little nervous. Would this even be fun? We quickly assumed position.
"Dude, how do I get my dick in you?" This is never something you want to hear when you're about to have sex with a guy.
"Well, that sounds hot. Angle it down more and I'll angle my vag up," I responded.
I arched my butt up a like a dog while my face lay smushed into the bed. It was awkward to say the least. Good thing I had just washed my sheets.
"OK I got it in," J said as though he was trying to screw in a lamp. As he started thrusting, I realized I couldn't move lest his penis slide out of my vag since penetration was so shallow. So basically, I had to lie there like a corpse. It somewhat was like necrophilia, minus the smell of decomposition. I was not feeling the Bumper Cars sex position.


"Are you enjoying this?" I asked.
"I feel like I'm getting chest burn from rubbing back and forth on the bed," he replied.
On a positive note, I was able to massage his calves and he mine. Unfortunately, I really wanted my clitoris massaged and not my legs or feet. Though I couldn't help but think that anyone with a foot fetish would love this.


We finally decided we had enough of trying to bump butts and switched to good old doggy style. At least there would still be some rear action. In the future, I'll save bumper cars for the amusement park.

If You Give A Blowjob Like THIS, He'll Never Leave You

How to blow his mind - and his, um ...
First, you have to get down there. You have two options: the quick way and the slow way. The quick way was the beginning of one of the best blowjobs I've ever given.
Basically, you drop to your knees, open your mouth, and open his pants. This works well because men like surprises, and men like women on their knees. This usually takes place standing. But here are eight steps to the best blowjob ever.
1. Start by kissing him.
But if your guy is laying down, you've really got only one choice: the slow way. Start at his mouth. Kiss him, using a lot of tongue. Move your mouth down to his chin, then his neck, lick and kiss on his chest, then move over to his hands.
2. Lick and suck his fingers.
Put them all the way into your mouth, suck hard, then let the suction go so his fingers slide out (you're going to be doing this move a lot). Repeat until he's moaning. Then move back to his torso and kiss slowly down to his groin. Lick and kiss on his pubis and thighs.

3. Give him a hickey on his thighs.
Yes, you're going to be in the midst of pubes. Deal with it. Lick until you're at the base of his shaft, then move away. But don't go for the shaft yet.
4. Pay close attention to his balls.
While you're licking around it, cup his balls in your hands. Tug them very very gently, holding his full sack in your hand. Pet them. Then move your mouth down and start licking them. Lick his balls firmly until they're wet with spit. Only then should you move up to the goal: his shaft.
5. Slowly move your tongue to his penis.
Do it quickly, suddenly, and fast. Don't make the mistake of kissing around his head. Instead, treat him to a deep throat. If you don't know how to do this, you open the back of your throat so the head of his penis is past your tonsils.
Stay still for a moment. This will drive him crazy. Then purse your lips and slowly slide upwards. Replace your mouth with your hand. Hold his balls in your hand and play with them gently. With your other hand, hold the shaft of his penis. Make sure it's well-lubricated with spit.
Start licking the head of his penis. Use gentle, soft pressure to lap at the sides, and finally the bottom, which tends to be the most erogenous zone. Jerk him gently while you lick hard at the bottom of the head of his cock. This will drive him crazy.


Keep licking. Hold his penis up and, from the bottom of the head, lick down over his shaft. Keeping your hand on the shaft to hold it steady, lick up and down like you were licking a popsicle. Move from the bottom of his shaft to the sides and top. Use this as a chance to get his shaft lubed up and spit-covered. You're going to need it.
6. Shift your focus to just the head.
Take a break and suck on the head of his penis — not his shaft, just the head. Suck hard. Lick while it's in your mouth, then suck hard again. Swirl the head around in your mouth, licking as you go. Alternate the sucking, licking, and swirling for a while, all the time holding his shaft steady, and keeping a hand on his balls. Are you still petting them? You should be.
When you suck, start moving a little bit down his shaft. Then lick and swirl some more. Again, suck and move even farther down the shaft. Work it this way so that, eventually, you're alternating deep-throating with licking and sucking the head of his penis.


7. Finally, abandon the licking and swirling, and just bob up and down.
Suck hard and put pressure on his shaft with your lips as you move up and down. If you can't deep-throat — and some women can't or won't — there's a solution: You can suck down the length of his shaft as far as you're comfortable, then hold your hand around his shaft in a fist. While you suck, jerk him up and down. He's well-lubricated because of your attentions, so your hand slides right over his penis.


This is honestly the best long-term solution. If your guy is having trouble coming — and most guys will have come from your deep-throating — you can do the jerk-off cheat to give yourself more energy and pace yourself. At some point, if you're doing this right, he's going to come.
8. Swallow, never spit.
A wise man once told me that spitting is like going to someone's house and not eating dinner. For some reason, it's very, very, very important to guys that you swallow. So we're going to go with that. As he starts to come, reach back behind his balls and press on his perineum, which is full of crazy nerve endings and will intensify his orgasm.
Take him all the way into your mouth, as far as he'll go, and let the cum hit you somewhere around the tonsils. It'll go down more quickly that way, and you won't even taste it. Keep massaging his perineum until he tells you to stop (and he'll tell you to stop; it gets too intense after an orgasm).


This should be enough for even a novice to give the most rocking blowjob of a guy's life. If you can't deep throat, practice with a popsicle; make sure you get enough spit in there as lube.
Make him wait for the serious deep sucking, jerking action, and above all, swallow, don't spit. Your man will thank you — and ask for more.

Orgasm In A Bottle

Female orgasm gels talk a big game; but do they deliver?
Women for whom an orgasm can be more work than fun have a bevy of options waiting in the wings these days: lubricants, sex toys, G-spot shots, and now orgasm gels, among others. According to Metro.co.uk, the average woman's orgasm lasts 28 seconds but can be extended to last up to 107 seconds.

The Durex Play O gel, for example, boasts easier and better orgasm achievement, according to the company's French ads. While not yet available in the US, there are several other products like Play O already on the market, such as Orgasmix and Climatique.
The active ingredient in all three products is L-arginine, an amino acid that occurs naturally in our systems to help produce relaxed blood vessels and improve circulation–clearly a helpful reaction for sexual stimulation. Application of the gel also produces a cooling sensation, which sounds a lot like the effects of Icy Hot on sore muscles; I'll leave you to rate the pleasure factor of that analogy.



The FDA has yet to review any of these products, and they are not safe to use while pregnant. While an elusive female orgasm often requires more attention than a mere physical stimulant, these gels might be worth a try for those seeking an extra boost in the sack.

Women Should Orgasm First And Other Unexpected Kama Sutra Advice

It's not just about crazy sex positions!
The Kama Sutra is an ancient scripture that has long gotten a reputation of being a book of sex positions for couples with issues in their relationship. But there’s SO much more to it than that!
The Kama Sutra is focused on love, relationships, and sex, and is from thousands of years ago. While some of the stuff is pretty outdated, it's amazing how much of it applies to modern relationships, and taps into our natural instincts as humans.
That's kind of what the Kama Sutra is really about: being human and enjoying things of the physical world.
So, before you turn from your screens to blush, know that only about 20 percent of the Kama Sutra is focused on sexual positions, and all of it is good to know, especially as you start navigating the world for serious loving relationships (something that wasn't so easily attained in high school).


But, if you’re curious about why the sex positions are the way they are, try to think of them almost like yoga, which is good for the body and spirit. And if your body isn't quite flexible enough for the positions, at least it's fun and playful!
Let's start with the basics:
Sex is part of the natural balance of life, and the Kama Sutra breaks up a fulfilling life into three different values:
Dharma — Your life purpose (job, destiny, path, and all that jazz)
Artha — gaining/earning material possessions, friends, and talent
Kama — Physical pleasures from the five senses.

Since we are human, physical pleasures play a big role in our lives, and it’s not just because of physical reasons. It is seen as a necessity to be happy and keep a balance. In other words, all work and no play makes you a dull boy/girl. Got it?
Now that you understand the principles of Kama Sutra, here are some fascinating things every woman should know from this ancient text:
1. Foreplay is crucial, and women should climax first.
Can we get an AMEN! According to the Kama Sutra (and personal experience), it's generally much easier and quicker to get a man to orgasm. However, the Kama Sutra insists that the woman should orgasm first, since it takes more effort, and being able to make a woman climax reflects how much a man (or partner) understands and values their woman.
Women are explained as something to be studied, appreciated, and valued. Again, AMEN!

2. Intimacy is also foreplay.
Foreplay isn’t just tongues and fingers going to those special places. Foreplay can also be communication, and touching in a way that shows love. Specifically, the Kama Sutra outlines various types of embraces. Ways to hold your partner to show them that you love and value them, that you want them sexually, that you need them, and so forth. Words also play into this.
3. You are not obligated to have sex.
You are not obligated to have sex. You are not obligated to have sex. You are not obligated to have sex.
If you do not want to have sex, but your partner does, you are allowed to decline. Mixing undesirable feelings with an action that’s supposed to reflect love and desire is just a big ol’ no-no. Makes sense when you think about it, right?

4. Men should bite, women should scratch.
And as you may have guessed by now, the Kama Sutra outlines different ways to scratch your man. So, don’t be afraid of getting a little extra clingy in bed *winky face*.
5. Size matters.
Ladies, aren’t off the hook for this one.


The Kama Sutra categorizes male and female genitals by size. Women by depth, men by mass. For men, there is hare, bull, and horse, which basically in layman's terms translate to small, medium, and large. For women, there is deer, mare, and elephant, which again pretty much translates to small, medium and large.
For the best pleasure, the sizes between partners ought to match up, so that sex isn’t unsatisfying due to pain or lack of sensation.

6. Sex should be deeply valued.
While sex is a physical pleasure, it should be viewed as more than that. It's a communication, and the better the communication, the more pleasure you and your partner can expect.
Sex is about trust, openness, and caring for your partner as a human being physically and emotionally. You don’t always have to have movie-worthy sappy sex, but there should be a simultaneous value of your and your partner’s pleasure. Might sound like a lot to handle at first, but that’s what the Kama Sutra is made to alleviate!
Sure, Some of this may seem idyllic, but what's so wrong with wanting pleasure on multiple levels?


Nothing! As we navigate through life, it might be hard to imagine finding someone you can be THAT compatible with, but sex isn't simple. There's TONS of layers to it, and the Kama Sutra highlights a TON of them. Don't over-think it, and just have some fun finding what works best for you.

The Secret Reason Guys LOVE The Reverse Cowgirl Position

Losing control can be sexy AF.
Sex positions are funny things.
Everyone has their own favorites for a variety of reasons. Some people will talk your ear off about “Doggy Style,” others will wax philosophic about the underrated pleasures of “Missionary” sex.
But, as a man, when it comes to sex positions, there is one configuration that I LOVE, but I think men are often afraid to admit it. It’s nothing particularly kinky, but it’s a pose that gives me a tremendous amount of pleasure for a reason I never anticipated. What’s my secret shame?
I love reverse cowgirl.
It’s THE BEST.
But I didn’t think I was going to like it at first.
For those unfamiliar, reverse cowgirl involves the man lying on his back, the woman straddling his hips, facing away from the man’s face. (This position also works well if the man is sitting and the woman sits on his lap, facing away from him.)
The woman lowers herself onto her man and she controls the pace and rhythm of the movement. The man can help by thrusting his pelvis upward, but really, reverse cowgirl is all about the woman riding the man. It’s her ride and she’s in the driver’s seat … or the saddle … whatever works best for the “cowgirl” metaphor.



Like I said, the first time I tried reverse cowgirl, I was majorly skeptical.
“What was wrong with regular cowgirl?” I thought. When you reverse it, the man loses easy access to both the breasts and the clitoris (boo) and you lose eye contact as well. I simply didn’t get the appeal.
Until I tried it. And now I know why so many guys are into reverse cowgirl.
Men love reverse cowgirl, because it lets women go WILD.
Maybe we dudes are reading the room wrong, but when women decide to flip around on top and take control, their inhibitions go out the door.
Is it the lack of eye contact? Maybe. While locking eyes can definitely make sex more intimate, there’s something to be said for NOT having to look someone else in the eyes when you’re chasing an orgasm. That’s the good kind of selfish, where you’re just pursuing mutual pleasure and you don’t have to worry about how your hair looks or what crazy faces you’re making.


You don’t want to be self-conscious — you just want to get there.
And, while doggy style prevents your partner from seeing your “O-face” too, it also severely limits the movements of the woman by trapping her in a table pose.
But, with reverse cowgirl, the woman gets all of the privacy, none of the shame, AND she has full use of her body to elevate the experience HOWEVER she pleases.
Which is hot as HELL for a man to witness/participate in.
So, yes, the man doesn’t have easy access to the breasts or the clitoris, but, let’s be frank, those things are best left in a woman’s hand anyway, aren’t they?
She’s going to be able to pleasure herself much better than any guy is, and the reverse cowgirl position gives her the ability to pursue those activities at her leisure.
Maybe she wants to touch herself. (She can do it.) Maybe she needs to control the angle of the thrusting to get you closer to her g-spot. (She can do it.) Maybe she wants to buck and thrash and scream without you looking up her nose the whole time. (She can do it.)


Reverse cowgirl is to women what doggy style is to men. It gives them total control of the experience and allows them to attack their orgasm however they please.
That makes sex way more fulfilling for the woman, but, selfishly, for the man, he reaps all of the additional benefits.
Because he’s getting his sexual partner at her least inhibited, at her most wild, at her most aggressive sexual peak.
And being able to lay back and have that happen right on top of you… it’s the best thing ever.
Are there downsides to reverse cowgirl? Sure there are.
If your partner isn’t into it, she just might kind of scoot up and down on your lap, not pleasing anyone. If she’s WAY too into it and starts to bounce, it can be fun, but depending on how much air she’s catching, it can also cause serious injuries for your penis. (Reverse cowgirl brings a much higher risk for a broken penis than most other positions.)


But that’s a rare occurrence and, frankly, it’s a chance men NEED to take.
Because reverse cowgirl is fantastic for women, which makes it awesome for men as well. It allows women to aggressively take control in the bedroom, unlocking their most sexual selves, and the men… they just get dragged along for the wonderful, wonderful ride.

The Elusive Female Orgasm: 5 Tips To Getting The O You DESERVE

Everyone can learn how to orgasm.
Orgasm is a learnable skill and every woman can become proficient at getting there. And if you already have your basic orgasm abilities down pat, you can use the same tools to expand your climax-ability.
Although sex is both natural and learned, for women, learning our path to orgasm is not always easy or natural. Just consider these statistics:
Ten percent of women have never had one (yet!), while over half of women don’t have orgasms from intercourse despite what you see in the wacky, unreal worlds of porn and romantic movies. Many if not most women are what I call “orgasm challenged”— sometimes they do, sometimes they don’t, and it’s a mystery why that is (or isn’t).


So what’s a girl to do if she longs for delicious climaxes to her solo or partnered erotic experiences?
For starters, relax. There’s nothing wrong with you — these are simply skills you haven’t learned yet. That’s right: sexual abilities are learned, just like playing the piano, speaking French or any other complex set of skills. You can learn how to improve your orgasmic capacity if you want to. It will probably take some time and you’ll definitely have to practice, but sooner or later you can get there.
Ultimately, the choice is yours. Unfortunately, in this world of ours, it’s a lot easier to find someone to teach you French than it is to find a good orgasm class. Don’t despair! I’ll get you started right now with these orgasmic tips for girls.
1. Slow down and take your time.
Since the average time spent in foreplay for couple sex is less than 10 minutes, we have one root cause of orgasmic issues right here. For most women, full, deep and complete arousal can take up to 45 minutes. That’s right, 45 minutes. That amount of time is quite shocking to most people.
Our cultural models of arousal and orgasm are male-oriented, based on common patterns of men’s sexual responses. The male arousal pattern is of quick, hot, genitally-focused energy, leading to a rapid erection. By contrast, for most women, most of the time, our erotic energy starts cool and diffuse and takes time to heat up and coalesce in our genitals.


2. Take a nice deep breath to relax yourself.
Breath is basic. You don’t have to remember any complicated esoteric formulas or worry if you’re doing it wrong. You certainly won’t forget to do it at all. Breath happens and if you want your orgasms to happen and then to expand, all you need to do is enhance whatever your breath is already doing by itself.
Just do a little more. Breathe a little faster, draw it in a little deeper, let it out a bit longer, or open your chest and belly more. Enhance your breathing and you’ll augment your arousal. Don’t hold your breath or let anxiety tighten it up. Breathe into your pleasure, breathe into your body, keep it moving and you can breathe yourself right into a nice juicy orgasm. Keep breathing into it and your climax will be bigger and better.
3. Focus on yourself.
Yes, in this case, it really is all about you. In order to get turned on, you need to connect to your own experience and feel your own pleasure. You can’t become a master musician only by playing duets. In order to become adept at playing your own instrument, you need to spend time doing solo practice.
Solo sex is where you can pay attention to yourself without the distraction of another person’s needs, desires, expectations, and demands. When focusing on your self-pleasure, you can discover what works for you and explore new pathways.


Repeating behavior and action is how you learn. Like driving a car or playing a musical instrument, you need to practice to get good at any learned skills, including sex. Then, just like playing the piano, when you get the learning practiced, automatic and embodied, you can let go of thinking and just let the music flow out of you.
That doesn’t mean you shouldn’t play with partners when appropriate and available. It just means that you must also cultivate your own abilities, by yourself. And learn to trust your own pleasure as your best guide.
4. Flex your pelvic floor muscles.
Inside the bottom of your body lies a hammock of muscles that surround your genitalia and associated organs. Every time you grasp and release these muscles, you’re squeezing, rubbing and fondling your sexy bits. Essentially, you’re playing with yourself without using your hands, which is convenient because during sex your hands are often busy elsewhere.


The pelvic floor muscles also act as a trampoline for sexual energy. The muscles ricochet and reverberate it all around your body, spreading your arousal and magnifying its intensity.
There isn't one right way to play with your pelvic floor muscles, so experiment with different actions. Squeeze, pull up, cinch together, flutter, vibrate, push, hold and release them as you see fit. Just get them involved and you’ll heighten your excitement, experience easier arousal and extend your orgasm.
5. Don't be afraid to make sounds.
Sound inhibition is the enemy of freeing your orgasm, so to escalate your experience, open your mouth and let the sounds out. You don’t have to raise the roof or frighten the horses, just try playing with little gasps and moans.
Start small by making your breath audible. Play with making soft, sexy sounds as you proceed through your arousal journey. Expand your sound repertoire as you become more comfortable with your sound ability. Moan, coo, sigh and whimper and you’ll enhance your experience. Allow yourself to have fun releasing your soundtrack of pleasure.
Use sound (and breathe, of course) when you start coming and don’t stop. Allow the sound to roll out of your open mouth along with the orgasmic wave. As you’re climaxing, keep your sounds going and your orgasm will keep happening, too!
Take these ideas into the laboratory of your life and play with them. Do your own experiments and pay attention to what transpires. Try variations on each theme and notice where they take you. Explore and see what arises.


Be your own scientist and observe what happens when you do it one way or another. Discover what works for you and then see if you can expand upon that. Try everything once or, better yet, several times and attend to the results. Combine skills and notice how they enhance each other. Be creative and remember to play!
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For more Orgasmic Education, my award-winning book, Women's Anatomy of Arousal provides extensive information. You can also get our free e-book Orgasmic Abundance for Everyone, check out our in-person classes and retreats, or our private, convenient online classes.