5 Covert Ways to Increase His Stamina in Bed

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Nothing can kill your sex buzz like being all caught up in the moment with a totally revved engine when the guy orgasms, putting the kibosh on one of the most fun ways to get your heartrate up. It’s an unfortunate fact of nature that women usually take a leisurely path to orgasm while guys often opt for the shortest route possible, but that doesn’t mean you can’t do anything about it. These endurance-boosters will help ensure you both have enough time to reach orgasm, then cuddle together and bask in the glow of feel-good hormones.

1. Add Pumpkin to Your Grocery List
Here’s a reason to get your guy addicted to the gourd: “Many people don’t know that there’s research that says pumpkin boost men’s libido,” says Ava Cadell, Ph.D., author of Neuroloveology and the Sexual Health Expo’s 2015 sexpert of the year. “Pumpkin seeds get the blood flowing 40 percent faster to the male genitals and boost sex drive in general,” says Cadell. Even though they’re delicious straight-up or in a sweet and spicy recipe, Cadell says treats that have pumpkin—even cake and pie—can also do the trick.

 

2. Pull His Testicles
Not hard, obviously! You don’t want to hurt the guy. What you do want to do is prevent the semen from traveling through his testicles, into his shaft and out of his urethra. “When a man is about to ejaculate, his testicles rise, and soon he’ll be at the point of no return," says Cadell. "If you want him to last longer, then you want to pull his testicles down toward his feet." That puts you in the driver’s seat so you can let go when you’re ready for him to, well, let go. As a bonus, you can put this one to work whether you’re having sex, giving a blow job, or trying your hand at a handie.

3. Switch It Up
While it’s rare for a guy to absolutely hate any one sex position, most men have their favorites that can bring them to orgasm in a nanosecond. “I would say doggy is the most popular position men like to orgasm in," says Cadell. "One thing to do is go through other positions instead of just doing that one." She recommends trying out something like this: Start in missionary, move to scissors, get on top, work on your spooning, then finally transition into doggy. He’ll last much longer than if you start off in doggy from the get-go, but of course you can change up the routine based on both of your preferences. To figure out when you should move things along, pay attention to his physical cues. “When a man is about to come, he breathes much faster," says Cadell. "As soon as his breath starts to pick up, then you want to change positions."

4. Get a Pleasure Ring
As far as sex toys go, a pleasure ring is a low-key addition to your bedside drawer. “It’s a flexible ring that stretches to any man’s size," says Cadell. "You put it at the base of the penis, and it helps him stay harder longer because it traps the blood in his shaft." These toys were specifically designed to boost a man’s endurance, but he doesn’t have to know that’s why you got it. “Some brands like Screaming O have pleasure rings that have vibrators on top to stimulate the clitoris," says Cadell. That way, you can just bring it out as something to help you orgasm. Pro tip: The type that has a ring on both top and bottom might overstimulate him, exacerbating the problem.

5. Turn Kegels into a Game
“We all need to exercise every day, but many men don’t realize they need to exercise their penises just like they do their biceps or quadriceps,” says Cadell. That’s where you come in. When your guy is standing and has an erection, drape a mini towel over his penis. Tell him that if he lifts his penis 20 times (or 10 if he’s a total beginner), he can have you in whichever position he wants. Once he’s completed those, move the towel just over the head of his penis, and throw another incentive in there if he can crank out 20 more reps. “Sexercise in the form of kegels strengthens a man’s pelvic floor and can result in longer-lasting erections and even help with premature ejaculation,” says Cadell. Try to work them into the plan at least once a week to see (and feel!) the results.

We Asked 19 Etiquette Experts if It's Rude to Have Sex When You're Staying with Friends

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Fact of life: summertime is synonymous with vacation. If you decide to skimp on spending by crashing with friends instead of shelling out for a hotel, more power to you! But if you're traveling as a couple, there's that all-important question: Is sneaking in a little nookie at your friends' place fair game? We asked 19 experts on etiquette and modern manners for their thoughts, and they were pretty divided; while three each said a firm yes or no, the rest fell somewhere in between. They pretty much all agree on one thing though: Keeping the sheets clean is a must.

Get It, Girl
"As a guest at someone’s home, discretion in all matters, including sex in the guest room, is paramount. But as a host, if you invite a couple to stay with you, it’s not appropriate to dictate what they do in the privacy of the guest quarters. As long as property is not damaged, the noise level is minimal, and they are displaying a high level of respect to every aspect of your home, I’d suggest the host worry about another matter." —Diane Gottsman, etiquette expert and owner of The Protocol School of Texas

"Of course it’s all right. This is the 21st century. Just be respectful and leave everything in better condition than when you arrived. If necessary, this may include washing a load of laundry." —Jay Remer, Canada's Etiquette Guy

"I say go for it, but only if you adhere to this one simple rule so that you don’t embarrass yourself or your host: be respectful. This means only become intimate in your bedroom—not the bathroom or kitchen late at night—be quiet, don’t go sneaking off for a quickie when you’re supposed to be helping make dinner, and when you leave their house, insist that you take your sheets off the bed and put them directly into the washing machine yourself. It’s just like when you’re walking in the woods: Leave no trace!" —Aimee Symington, CEO of Finesse Worldwide, Inc. and creator of "Blunders," a board game on manners for children

 

Maybe, Maybe Not
"It depends entirely on the accommodation. Discretion is everything here. If the place where you are staying is private and large enough for you and your partner to have sex without other people finding out about it, why not? Outside of certain very specific situations, like one of the friends having just announced that he has an incurable disease, it seems fine to me. But no moaning or baby talk, please."—Henry Alford, author of Would It Kill You to Stop Doing That: A Modern Guide to Manners

"Although some rules of etiquette have relaxed in the past 20 to 30 years, being rude or thoughtless will never be in style. Saying that, it depends on the situation and the relationship you have with the host. Clearly, if you are staying with very close friends, you have the privacy—en-suite bathroom, distance from other rooms, etc.—are discreet, change the sheets, clean up after yourselves, it may pass as acceptable. On the other hand, many etiquette experts consider it inappropriate no matter the situation. Even if you wouldn’t mind your guest engaging in sex while visiting you, 'etiquette' means you must always consider others. And in this situation, think about how the host would feel." —Sue Fox, founder of Etiquette Survival and author of Etiquette For Dummies

"If you absolutely can’t wait, just be discreet. You might want to consider if your friend has children. Can you and your partner contain yourselves and be quiet? Be considerate, clean and respectful during your visit."—Lisa Richey, founder of The American Academy of Etiquette

"It’s best to delay any dalliance for the privacy of your own home for a few reasons. First, your hosts might hear you. It’s simply not pleasant being privy to a couple’s lovemaking. Also, your friend’s kids might hear you. As a kid, it’s bad enough discovering your parents have sex, let alone their friends. I’m sure you wouldn’t want to traumatize the resident little ones. Finally, your host probably won’t be happy having to handle the, ahem, used bedding. That said, if there is a copy of Fifty Shades of Grey on the guest bedside table, you can assume not only is a roll in the hay permissible but encouraged." —Arden Clise, Seattle-based etiquette expert and president of Clise Etiquette

"Yes, as long as you are 100 percent certain your friend is hooking up, too. If not, it’s not worth the rift it may cause in the relationship when feelings of jealousy and competition arise. If all signals are pointing to go, then remember to keep it down. Avoid squeaky beds, banging headboards, and audible screams of passion. Practice restraint and silent sex. This will increase your chances of a return invitation." —Lisa Gache, author of Beverly Hills Manners

"If you have very open hosts who don't mind, it's fine as long as you keep it very quiet. If you have more old-fashioned or conservative hosts, best to refrain even if they indicate it's okay." —Carrie Glenn, founder of Etiquette at Hand

"Do you have a private space? The host should not stumble upon you while popping into the kitchen for a quick glass of water. Can you be quiet? No one else in the home should know what you are doing, but what happens in the wee hours of the morning is no one’s business but your own. Be sure to strip the bed yourself, bring the sheets to the laundry room, and, if possible, start the laundry yourself." —Jodi R. R. Smith, founder of Mannersmith Etiquette Consulting

"There's a fine line between whether you should have sex at a friend's place or not, and it has to do with the lifestyle of the friend you're staying with. If you're staying with friends who are very traditional in their beliefs in terms of sex before marriage or that sort of thing, you definitely want to refrain from doing so. But if the romance gets going or maybe you're attempting to get pregnant and it's the right time, just make sure you don't make a big thing of it. You don't want to be swinging from chandeliers or making a lot of ruckus." —Elaine Swann, lifestyle and etiquette expert

"A couple who is overnighting at the home of a friend—presuming the friend is still in residence and hasn't given them the place for a private getaway—should respect their host and save the serious lovemaking for when they are back at their own place. If, on the other hand, the space is theirs to enjoy on their own—lucky them!—they should feel far freer when it comes to intimacy but still must be respectful. In particular, to avoid any issue of soiling the host's bedding, guests bring their own sheets and re-make the bed, as well as being sure to remove duvets, blankets, bolsters, and decorative pillows from the bed before any lovemaking. In both scenarios, the guests should strip the bedding before they depart." —Mister Manners, Thomas P. Farley, etiquette expert, speaker, and founder of What Manners Most

"The appropriateness depends on three things: First, how long you are staying? If it's one night, surely you can go without a little nookie for 24 hours, whereas if you are staying for a week—and maybe if you're newlyweds—the host might understand that there could be some hanky-panky. Next, where exactly are you staying? If you're on the living room floor on a blow-up mattress and people have to walk through the living room to get to the bathroom, or if you're in the guest room, which happens to be right next to a child's bedroom and the walls are thin, best not to be indiscreet. Finally, consider the friend. If he or she just broke up with someone, or if he or she is an ex of either you or your partner, it's pretty insensitive to make him or her endure your happy romping. Or if the friend is someone who is likely to talk about what he or she might have seen or heard, you may want to think twice before you get busy." —Lew Bayer, president, Civility Experts Worldwide

"It depends, but generally the answer is no. Of course, your friend knows that you are having sex with your partner, and maybe you have shared some details. But most friends would prefer not hearing you having sex and would prefer not having to clean up a room where you had sex, even if you are discreet and very clean. Yes applies when you are house-sitting, and maybe is for when you two lovebirds are alone in the house while your host is away. Be careful—you would not want to be caught in the act." —Julie Blais Comeau, certified etiquette expert, speaker, Sticky Situation blogger, and the author of Etiquette: Confidence & Credibility

"This question is a tricky one. The answer depends on the duration of your stay, your relationship with whom you are sleeping, and your relationship with your friend. However, the quick-and-dirty answer is no. If you want to be intimate, rent a hotel room instead. If you are staying at your friend’s house for a few nights, do your best to abstain. If you’re staying for a few weeks or months, then that’s when you might find yourself in a quandary. But should you bring a stranger into your friend’s house and be intimate? Absolutely not. Ask yourself, 'Would my friend approve of my behavior?' Your friend may be more lenient if you are sleeping with your spouse or long-time partner." —Jacqueline Whitmore, etiquette expert and founder of The Protocol School of Palm Beach

"If the two of you are in a bedroom away from other occupied bedrooms, then what you do is your business. Make sure your actions won’t disturb others, like noise and thumping of the bed on the headboard. If you are sleeping on the sofa in someone’s studio apartment where they are sleeping on a murphy bed a few feet away, get a grip on your sexual desires and hold off until you and your partner are in another location. Having sex while others are so close by is super rude and shows your lack of consideration for your friend." —Peggy Newfield, etiquette expert, president and founder of The American School Of Protocol

 

Heck No!
"Keep your thong on! Although getting hot and heavy with your partner at a friend’s home is not appropriate, it happens. Even if there is a lock on the door and a TV or DVD player available, some sounds are recognizable worldwide." —Sharon Schweitzer, international etiquette consultant

"I am not in favor of having sex with your partner while you are a guest in someone's home. This is something that should be done in the privacy of your own home. When you are someone's guest, you are sleeping on and using their nice linens. Be respectful of that. If you do decide to have sex, strip the bed and take the soiled sheets to the laundry room before you leave. Better yet, wash them and remake the bed. Another option if you absolutely can't abstain is to cover the sheets with a towel, but you still need to strip the bed and wash the linens." —Lydia Ramsey, modern manners and etiquette expert, keynote speaker and author ofManners That Sell

"It's best if you don’t have sex while staying at a friend’s house and wait until the time is more appropriate. Even if you do it quietly, there's the possibility of leaving soiled sheets, which I don’t think you want to change and wash the next morning. We are intelligent creatures and can hold our urges until the time is acceptable. Save your self the embarrassment so you will be welcomed back again." —Mimi Raghian, personal stylist and etiquette consultant

9 New Ways to Orgasm with a Vibrator

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No doubt, you have a good thing going with your vibrator. You whip it out when you want (or need) some assistance, it pushes the right buttons, and then you go about your life.

But just like reverting to the same position every time you have sex can get old, experts say you can develop vibe fatigue, too. “It can become routine…and then monotony sets in,” says board-certified clinical sexologist Debra Laino, Ph.D.

You’re also in danger of only being able to orgasm when your vibrator is present. “If you always use the same vibrator in the same way, orgasmically you can become over-reliant,” says clinical sexologist Kat van Kirk, Ph.D.

So try these techniques and positions to make your vibe usage (solo and with a partner) anything but ordinary:

Avoid Your Clitoris
…At first, at least. “Many women have discovered that they find indirect clitoral stimulation to the side or above the clitoris even more arousing,” says van Kirk. So lightly run your vibe up your labia, and circle your clitoris without actually touching it. Once you can’t take it any more, go in for the kill.

Be a Tease
Have your partner slowly run your vibrator up and down your upper thighs, getting close to your clitoris but not quite touching it.

Work Your Neck
Your neck is an erogenous zone, too, so take advantage. Lie back on your bed, close your eyes, and lightly run your vibe up and down one of side of your neck before switching to the other side. “You might be surprised at how much more pleasure there is to be had,” says van Kirk. Once you feel good and turned on, slowly work your way south.

Buddy Up
There’s no reason not to use it on yourself when your partner is there, too. So during a makeout session with your guy, press your vibe up against his perineum (the spot between his anus and penis) to get things going before moving it over to use it on yourself. “Mutually masturbating can be a nice change,” says Laino, adding that you can also have your guy use it on you while you get him off.

Prop Yourself Up
Lie down in bed, and put a few pillows under your butt to prop yourself up. While your guy is giving you oral, run your vibe back and forth across your nipples.

Hand It Over
Try a little light BDSM: Have your guy loosely tie you up, and let him use your vibrator on you any way he wants. “There's something exciting about not having control,” says Laino.

Get Wet
Prop a waterproof vibrator up on one of the sides of your tub walls, and kneel down in front of it. Grip the side of the tub, press your body against it, and rub your clitoris up and down over the vibe.

A New Twist on Doggy
Lie flat on your stomach, and slip your clitoral vibrator under you. Then, have him penetrate you from behind. This requires little to no effort on your end, so just lay there and enjoy the ride.

Grab a Couples Vibe
Invest in a couple's vibe, like a penis ring with a bullet vibrator, so you can both get stimulated at once. “Couple-oriented penis rings are a great option to make sure you get this stimulation hands-free and he gets to enjoy the sensation as well,” says van Kirk.

Should You Tell Your S.O. If You've Never Orgasmed?

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Having an orgasm should be considered a woman’s birthright. After all, what could be better than our lady parts lighting up like Wonder Woman’s lasso while dopamine pumps through our bodies? But unfortunately for us ladies, orgasms can be hard to come by.

According to recent study in the Archives of Sexual Behavior, only 65% of women are able to have orgasms during sex. Even worse, there are actually women who have gone their entire lives without ever experiencing the big O—not even through masturbation. 

Elisabeth Lloyd, a professor of biology and an affiliated faculty scholar at the Kinsey Institute, studied this phenomenon while working on her book, The Case of the Female Orgasm. Through her research, LLoyd concluded that 11% of women are not achieving orgasm. Ever. Struggling to experience something that comes naturally to many women can feel frustrating, embarrassing, and maybe even a touch shameful. And if you do fall into that category, you've also probably grappled with whether or not you should tell your S.O. about your orgasm challenge.

 

Well, sex therapist and creator of Finishing School, Vanessa Marin, says that it’s time you speak up.

Marin suggests airing everything out before becoming intimate. “It takes some courage to come right out and talk about your orgasm, but setting your partner's expectations will help you both focus on exploring what feels good for you,” she says.

“If you're with a new partner, you can say something like, ‘Just so you know, I've never had an orgasm before, so let's not make that the goal for now, okay?’” This step is important because placing heavy focus on climaxing can actually make things worse, causing your body to tense up and form a mental block. When your issue is out in the open, you can enter a sexual situation sans pressure, allowing your mind to become a sponge that absorbs all the different sensations happening during foreplay and intercourse. And the moment you feel open and relaxed, so will your lady parts.

 

If you’re already in the deep end with a long-term partner, Marin also has some time tips for coming clean that you’ve been faking it.

“Your partner might be hurt initially [when you tell him], but you can make it clear that you never intended to hurt [his] feelings,” she says. “Let him know why you faked. For example, maybe you had a partner in the past who pressured you to have an orgasm, so you just started doing it out of habit.”

Learn 14 mind-blowing facts that will completely change the way you think about orgasms:

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While talking with your partner may be the first step to actually experiencing an orgasm, Marin believes that you need to “pass go” on your own before enlisting the help of someone else—so don't be afraid to masturbate.

“It's just too hard to learn how to have your first orgasm with another person,” Marin explains. “Learning how to get yourself off is the most empowering, exciting experience you can have.” (In the market for a new sex toy? Add something extra to your sex life with the JimmyJane Form 8 vibe from the Women's Health Boutique.)

And in case the promise of your first orgasm isn't enough of a perk, masturbating also has plenty of other potential benefits, too. According to Planned Parenthood, getting yourself off may help you sleep, reduce stress, relieve tension and soothe menstrual cramps, to name a few. And, of course, touching yourself can also inform and improve your sex life. After all, knowledge is power. “Once you know what works for you, you can show or tell your partner what you like," Marin says.

z redirected 9 Sex Positions That'll Make You Feel the Love

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This article was written by Heather Kindberg and republished with permission from YourTango. 

There's no question that certain sex positions facilitate higher levels of emotional intimacy. These positions allow a couple to go beyond their sensory experience, intensifying the intimacy of their encounters and imbuing them with emotional meaning. Bow chicka wow wow.

 

Eye contact, kissing, caresses, and trusting, are all emotional complements to the physical experience of sex. These nine moves promote that super deep (emotionally speaking, obvi) connection that helps you fall in love like never before—so be sure to use these wisely. 

1. Woman On Top A man lying down with the woman on top can be a vulnerable position for both partners, which can create emotional intimacy. He has to give up control, while your goods are totally on display. This sex position is ideal for lots of touching and intimate caresses.

2. Hold Me In this position the man holds the woman as if she's just jumped into his arms. With your legs wrapped around his waist and your arms around his neck, this loving position is conducive to slow movements, passionate kisses, and romantic swaying. #aww

3. Enhanced Missionary The missionary position is already an intimate way to have sex, since your faces are close and almost all of your body is in contact. To enhance the emotional intimacy of the position, have him hold your butt or move his legs to the outside of yours to more fully envelop your body.

And if a couple is so inclined, this position also offers a good approach for anal sex by retaining face-to-face emotional intimacy.

4. Spooning Although there's no eye contact in spooning, this sex position creates intense emotional connectedness as the he cradles you with his entire body. It's also a wonderful position for touching, squeezing, rubbing—and even hand-holding, which can be incredibly intimate during sex. This position is considered one of the best sex positions for female orgasm. Woop, woop!

5. Hands Free Have him sit on a chair and straddle him with your feet on the floor. This allows for face-to-face contact, and easy access for kisses, whispers... and touching everywhere.

6. Crossed Legs or Lotus The lotus sex position offers crazy emotional intimacy. He sits cross-legged, or in the actual yoga-style lotus position, and you get on his lap, arms and legs wrapped around him. You'll be fully entwined and face to face. The need for slower, sensual movements in this position turns up the heat.

7. Standing Missionary Turn the missionary position 90 degrees so you're both standing, and you'll find that this full-body-contact sex position is super hot. Muscles tighten to remain standing and, even with a support behind you, you're both more physically dependent on each other.

8. Slow Going In this sex position, he's seated, legs extended, leaning back on his arms.You'll sit on top, facing him, lean back, and extend your legs behind him. By necessity, this position requires slow, gentle movements. There is an electric emotional intimacy in not being able to move much.

9. Higher Love Lie on your back at the edge of a bed or another surface, and put your legs on your partner's shoulders as he stands in front of you. Both of you share control; he leads the movements, and you can use your legs to push him back a bit and slow him down, or to let him lean all the way in.

Now get after it, you lovebirds! 

How an Orgasm Can Boost Your Relationship

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You might not say much during sex (other than the occasional "Yes!" or "Right there!"), but what you talk about after sex can have a long-lasting, positive impact on your relationship—that is, if you have an orgasm, a new study found. 

According to recent research published in Communication Monographs, post-sex pillow talk is more open and intimate when you climax compared to when you don't, because of the flood of oxytocin in your bloodstream that accompanies an orgasm. This pro-social hormone is linked with disclosing positive information due to the feelings of comfort and safety it produces, which leads people to be less cautious with their words and let things "slip out" that they normally wouldn’t (which may explain tons of "I love you" declarations made in an orgasm fog).

In the study, 253 men and women ranging in age from 18-45 were asked to log into an online diary within two hours of any sexual activity. They then answered questions about whether or not they had an orgasm, if they discussed anything after sex, what level of intimacy their discussion reached, and how they felt about it. Over the course of two weeks, the results showed that individuals who reached orgasm were more likely to see benefits from disclosing positive feelings to their partners post-sex than those who didn't. Essentially, they said some mushy stuff after hooking up, and they felt really good about it. 

And interestingly, researchers linked this heightened level of post-coital sharing to other positive communication between partners. Since sexual communication has been shown to influence both sexual and relationship satisfaction overall, opening up after climaxing is a great way to strengthen your connection. Translation: An orgasm is basically blissful, bonding truth serum.