5 Sex Habits Every Woman Needs To Make

Women like sex just as much as men do – that’s something we need to start understanding. We are not doing it for the man’s enjoyment, so we need to do things in order to make sure we’re getting the best out of it as we can!

There are certain things women do during sex because they either don’t enjoy it or they just don’t know how to, which isn’t fair to us. Here are some sex habits we need to start making when it comes to sex.

1. Make him work to give you an orgasm

Stop faking it! If you aren’t enjoying it, then you need to tell him what he can do to make you have a better time. This isn’t just for him, it’s for you, too! So you need to make sure it’s about you as well.

We have all faked an orgasm, but it’s something we need to stop. If he isn’t doing it for you, then you need to let him know. Don’t let him get cocky thinking he’s great in bed because you made him think that he knows how to make a girl have an orgasm.

Guys don’t like it when we fake having an orgasm anyway. There is not good that comes out of faking an orgasm. You leave unsatisfied and he thinks he satisfied you.

Of course, he doesn’t mean to go without you having an orgasm if he’s a good guy that is. He will go on doing the same thing he thought got you off, and that’s only going to make you not have an interest in having sex with him.

Let him know that you did not have an orgasm, and let him know what he can do to make you have one. You both need to feel good during sex, or even after if that’s how you’ll get off.

If you’re going to get him off, the least he can do is try to do the same for you. Maybe you don’t know how to have an orgasm or you don’t know how to explain it to him, but it can be a part of the fun to figure it out.

2. Masturbate

We live in the 21st century. We need to stop pretending that we don’t masturbate. It gives women a chance to explore our bodies and figure out what we like.

There is absolutely nothing wrong with that. It doesn’t make you dirty or gross. You want to get the most out of sex, or even just have a good orgasm. There is no shame in a good orgasm.

If you don’t know how to get yourself off, then you need to explore it. You can just play around with yourself and find something that feels good or you can even look it up. Watch some porn.

It may not be the most realistic thing you’ve ever seen in your life, but it can be educational as to finding techniques you can use to get yourself off. If none of that works, then you could also go to a sex shop and see if toys will do the trick.

It doesn’t matter how you do it as long as you’re enjoying yourself. While you learn what you like, you can also help your man figure out what you like as well. Let it be something you do together.

3. Ask if he’s been tested for STI’s

Okay, yes, this may be awkward. I don’t care, it’s something that you need to do to ensure your own health. You don’t have time to be worrying about whether or not you’re safe after you’ve hooked up with someone.

If he is trying to have sex with you, then you have every right to ask if he’s clean. You never know exactly where the person has been or what the other people he’s been with in the past have done either. Body counts add up when you take into account how many partner’s your man’s ex-hookups have been with, too.

With that added, you should also get tested as well to make sure that you’re being just as safe before you start to have sex with someone. It’s time to be smarter and safer about sex.

The only thing that kills the mood more than asking if a guy has been tested for an STI is if he says yes and wasn’t going to tell you. Take that into consideration. And always use a condom just in case. You don’t need to worry about STI’s and pregnancy.

4. Stop worrying about what he thinks of you

If a guy is trying to have sex with you, then he finds you attractive. Stop constantly worrying about it. He has no place to judge you because of what you look like or if you’re being a little promiscuous because he’s in the same place you are.

You’re never going to enjoy sex if you spend the entire time worrying about what your body is doing or what it looks like. It’s sex. More likely than not, he’s enjoying it.

It’s a lot easier for a guy to enjoy sex than it is for a girl, especially since it’s really just about the movements. Guys can get off a lot easier than girls can, so don’t even worry about it. If he wasn’t enjoying it, then he wouldn’t do it. It’s as simple as that.

If you’re worried about whether or not he’s judging you because of what you’re willing to do with him then you just shouldn’t have sex with him. You don’t need to waste your time hooking up with guys who judge you and obviously aren’t that nice to you in the first place.

5. Don’t ever do anything you’re not comfortable with

You do not have to do anything you don’t want to do. Do not let him pressure you into doing something that you aren’t excited about. It is not okay or fair. You deserve to enjoy the sex just as much as he does.

You don’t have to do anything he tells you to do unless he’s telling you to stop. If either of you decides at any time that you should stop, then that’s what needs to happen, no questions asked. Consent is the most important thing.

Sex can be confusing at times when you’re not completely sure about what you want. There’s nothing wrong with it, but there comes a time where you’re going to have to grow out of that and start learning what you want out of your relationship or hook up. Stop getting lost in your bad habits, and start having a happier, healthier sex life.

If you liked this article, then please like and share it! If you have anything you’d like to add, then leave your thoughts in the comments section below.

Want to have more powerful orgasms? These 7 tips from sexpert Dr Pam Spurr will boost your pleasure in noooh time

OUR sex and relationship columnist Dr Pam Spurr regularly brings you must-know info for the bedroom and beyond. Follow Dr Pam on Twitter @drpamspurr

If you’re a Coldfeet fan you’ll know day-to-day stress put the dampeners on Pete (John Thompson) and Jenny’s (Fay Ripley) sex life.  But maybe, just maybe if they knew how to give ‘Jenny’ powerful orgasms they might still be having sex.

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Only 15% of women enjoy good, regular orgasms through penetrative sexCredit: Getty Images

The stats are sad - only 15% of women enjoy good, regular orgasms through penetrative sex. So again I face the call of duty to bring you better sex!

Here are seven things you need to know for colossal climaxes:

Try a V-massage

Yes, massage your vagina and labia. Lie back, relax and with plenty of lubricant gently knead and rub them with your fingertips. Move slowly down one side of your labia and back up the other.

This gets much-needed blood circulation in this pleasure-zone. Do once or twice weekly. If your partner does it for you, it can lead to all sorts of pleasure!

Tease to please

Have your partner tease you with partial penetration. This is where he only partly goes inside and gently stimulates your outer vagina.

Then have him swap positions - maybe from sensual ‘spoons’ to ‘doggy’. Partial penetration and swapping positions teases her pleasure zones and boost chances for powerful climaxes.

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Have your partner tease you with partial penetration. This is where he only partly goes inside and gently stimulates your outer vaginaCredit: Getty Images

Continue the tease

Have him stroke with a vibrator on gentle setting, slowly and sensually up and down the area between your inner thigh and your labia. Then around your clitoral zone. This builds sensational sexual tension, increasing the chance of a powerful orgasm when you go for full sex.

Pelvic pulsations

Do pelvic floor exercises because they’ll strengthen your climaxes. Do them standing waiting for your train, at your desk, watching telly - just do them.

Think of the muscles that stop you ‘spending a penny’. Tighten and hold for the count of three. Release. Then repeat 10 times. Build to 20 repetitions, twice-daily.

Mind you, make sure you don’t pull any funny faces while you’re doing your private pulsating.

As they get stronger try pulsating them. Use this when he’s inside you to give him a thrill.

Fantasy chat for full on pleasure

One study found women who chat through fantasy scenarios end up having more powerful climaxes.

Encourage her to describe in delicious detail that red hot fantasy of, e.g., her being the boss and interviewing you to be her personal assistant…and how you must personally assist in her sexual pleasure!

Check your mindset

What’s going on in your head affects you in bed. Stop telling yourself things like, “I never have great orgasms, it’s not possible.”

Instead talk yourself up. Tell yourself this time is going to be different. Remind yourself to let go, think of sexy fantasies, get teased-and-pleased, sexcetera!

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What’s going on in your head affects you in bedCredit: Getty Images

Mind your tipple

If you’re a party-girl you won’t like this, but fewer drinks equals more powerful orgasms. So limit yourself to a couple drinks when sex is on the agenda. Otherwise, too many cocktails and his ‘you know what’ won’t give you so much pleasure!

Dr Pam’s Position: The CAT

The Coital Alignment Technique (or some call it the Clitoral Alignment Technique) is almost guaranteed to give her a big-O.

She chooses to be on top or bottom. But if she has difficulty climaxing - or doesn’t have powerful ones – on top's best.

He lies flat with her on top - like reverse-missionary position. She can have her legs inside or outside of his.

So that her clitoral-zone rubs against his pubic bone, she shimmies a couple centimetres up his pelvis. Perfect for all-important clitoral stimulation.

He reaches around her hips, holding her in place. To reach a great climax she controls his thrusting and uses small circular or rocking movements against his pubic bone.

For extra pleasure: Reaching around her, run a vibrator between her upper thighs where they meet at her bottom.

Sex tips for new mums, including embracing the quickie and getting over the ‘first time’ dread

WHEN you’ve just had a baby the last thing on your mind is getting intimate between the sheets.

Your evenings are most likely dominated by nappy changes and night feeds, and spontaneous romance might feel like a distant memory.

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Parenthood can turn your sex life upside downCredit: Alamy

But while things aren't quite the same with a newborn around, it is possible to get your love life back on track when you’ve just become a parent with these five sex tips from Netmums.

1. Get over the ‘first time after giving birth’ dread

The thought of making love for the first time since giving birth can be pretty terrifying.

After you’ve been through the trauma of labour and endured weeks of  sleep deprivation, the idea of getting down and dirty might seem laughable.

Like a lot of new mums, you might be wondering if it’s safe to have sex again after having a baby.  There’s no right or wrong time threshold, but many women prefer to wait until after their six-week check.

If you’ve had a C-section you may have to wait longer while you recover from the operation – your doctor will advise you.

Ultimately, it depends on the kind of birth experience you had and the way you feel about having sex again.

But don't put your love life on the back burner. Even if you don't feel up to sex, being intimate with your partner will make your relationship stronger and will make the days of early parenthood more enjoyable.

2. Recognise that life is different now – but sex can still be fun

Having sex after giving birth requires a combination of fierce preparation and multi-tasking.

With a newborn to check on and feed at regular intervals, it's hard to find the time to be intimate. But assuming the baby is happily snoozing, it's time to embrace something else that's new: your body.

After 40 weeks of pregnancy, followed by childbirth, you're probably still getting used to your post-baby body. Yes there might be a few stretchmarks, or you might have had a tear while giving birth, but it's important you learn to love your body and respect the amazing thing it has done.

If you are breastfeeding your boobs might be sore – not to mention prone to spontaneous let-downs at the wrong moment. (Orgasms release some of the same hormones as breastfeeding. Who knew?!)

Just take it slowly, embrace your new body and before you know it you'll be back in the swing of things.

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It is important to communicate with your partnerCredit: Getty Images

3. Remember the benefits

Nothing kills passion quite like sleep deprivation.

Parenthood brings with it a whole new level of tiredness that you didn't even know existed when you were child-free, and the idea of sacrificing half an hour before bedtime when you could be indulging in a deep sleep might sound like a nightmare.

But as well as being fun, sex has a lot of health benefits. According to experts it can boost your immune system, control your blood pressure and help you cope better with stress.

Sex is also a great form of exercise – perfect for new mums who don’t have time to go to the gym.

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Sex has a multitude of health benefitsCredit: Getty Images

4. Don’t be afraid to schedule sex

Yes, we know scheduled sex doesn't sound remotely exciting, and it’s as far from spontaneous as you can get.

But scheduling a session can work wonders for your relationship - and it's something plenty of parents do! A Netmums poll recently revealed six out of 10 parents put a date in to make love.

It is possible to get time out, even with a newborn. Whether it’s asking a helpful grandparent to babysit, or working out when you’ve got a free hour by synchronising it with your baby’s nap time, there are ways to carve out time for intimacy.

P.S. This doesn’t mean you’ve said goodbye to spontaneity. There's plenty of time for that in the months and years to come. But for now, this shows that both of you are making a commitment to your sex life and regard it as important.

5. Embrace the quickie

There are times when you need to think on your feet when it comes to finding time for sex.

If your baby is getting off to sleep and she’s in your bedroom, you might want to enjoy a quickie on the sofa. In fact, it's a great time to 'christen' all the rooms in your house.

And what about sex while your baby is in the room? There's a lot of debate about this and it's entirely up to you. However it's worth pointing out that while they are very young, babies generally don’t have a clue what you are doing and will probably be fast asleep!